


when i see you, my voice goes

by Xekstrin



Category: League of Legends
Genre: Alternate Universe - K/DA, F/F, K/DA, Open Marriage, Polyamory, Spanking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-09-14 16:28:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 25,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16916322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xekstrin/pseuds/Xekstrin
Summary: Evelynn and Ahri had been together for as long as anyone could remember. They always thought they never needed anyone else, and then then slowly learn how wrong they were.Takes place from inception of the band to when POP/STAR blasts the charts, and a glimpse of what comes next.





	1. Ahri/Evelynn

 

She didn't often call Evelynn.

They spoke every day, of course. Through texts and emails and silly snapchats. Near constantly, during every spare minute, Ahri could look at her phone and see Evelynn's name. In between modeling gigs and meetings with her marketing team, trying to get her fragrance line off the ground, trying to stay sane. The dusky twilight hours when smog hung low over the city, or in the crisp early morning when one or both of them should have been in bed.

Long distance coupled with the burden of their profession might have killed any other relationship. Not them. Pride held them together as much as devotion. They ran together like a pair of mated wolves. Nothing and no one else was big enough to take either of them down, or replace them.

" _Gumiho_." Evelynn's smoky voice purred in greeting. "Not that I don't love hearing your voice, but what time is it over there?"

Every conversation these days started with that question. Fifteen years later and Evelynn was still trying to mother her. "The sun's been up for thirty minutes." Ahri looked out her hotel room window, twirling a strand of hair around one finger. "Is this a good time to talk? What time is it for you?"

"Six in the afternoon."

"Oh, so you just woke up."

"Bitch." Evelynn said it as fondly as any other pet name, completely devoid of any bite. "Did you need something or are you wasting my mobile data just to insult me?"

Biting her lip, Ahri tried to find the words. As with everything else, she had practiced for this. But with Evelynn, things never went according to plan. That's what made this so difficult. Even if she objectively knew Evelynn would drop everything for her at a moment's notice, there was no way to soften what she was about to ask.

She didn't often call Evelynn, but she knew this wasn't a conversation she wanted to have over text.

"Do you remember..." She started, then stopped. Pacing her hotel room, Ahri felt like a caged animal. Shaking her head, she tried again. "Are you working on anything right now? Wait, dumb question. Of course you are."

That's why she was in New York, currently, while Ahri stayed in Seoul. While her public-facing persona suffered a blow, her career as a lyricist was still thriving in the shadows. But Evelynn didn't go out much these days, not anymore. Not even in a strange city. Not after what happened.

"Some sweet little thing needed to consult me for her new single." Evelynn's laugh was muted, something low in her chest that never fully managed to claw its way free. "But once I'm done with her, I'm all yours."

"You're always mine," she said softly. "Don't ever forget that."

"Of course. Silly me. As an apology I'll take you somewhere _really_ nice...Maybe I can meet up with you in Italy again?"

"That sounds good, but I need you here."

Tension coiled through her words. "I'm not sure I'd be welcome back home."

"Of course you will." Ahri rubbed her forehead, and then bullied herself back on track. "Listen. Do you remember when we were thirteen and I told you one day we'd be in a group together?"

"Mmm." Her wife agreed. "Of course, baby. That promise kept me going for a long time."

"Do you still want that?" Ahri swallowed. "Because I want to do it. I have almost everything set up, all I need is a word from you."

She swore she heard Evelynn blink.

"...Are you being serious right now?"

"Yes?"

Evelynn's silences often spoke more than words could. Over the years Ahri had learned to translate them all, so in tune with Evelynn's idiosyncrasies that she could read her thoughts from nothing but a careless inhale.

Right now Evelynn was waiting for Ahri's claws to come out. This probably felt like a trap. Ahri was offering her nothing except a fantasy, and the promise of more pain and public scrutiny.

"Take your time. I don't need an answer right away," she said, to reassure her.

"Your solo career is just starting." As always, Evelynn was most comfortable bouncing the focus away from herself. She operated best that way, just out of frame. "Wouldn't you rather work on that than try to lift a new group out of thin air?"

It was a reasonable point, and Ahri hadn't expected Evelynn to agree to this without some coaxing. Still, she couldn't help but feel a little slighted. "I want to work with _you._ "

For years, they had been inseparable. They had the same trauma, the same wounds. Ahri had wrestled the demons off of Evelynn's back, kept her clean for almost a decade now. Meanwhile Evelynn wielded the first needles that kickstarted Ahri's transition, pierced her skin while Ahri closed her eyes and wondered if she might faint. They'd shared fame, money, scandal, women.

They shared everything, except for this. While always closely linked, their musical careers never fully overlapped.

One last bastion— one thing separate.

Ahri was asking for more than she'd ever asked from anyone else.

She was asking her wife to tear it all down.

"I want this for you, Evelynn," she said at last, when it became clear Evelynn was still mulling it over. "I know how much it's hurting you, not being able to do what you love. And no, writing songs for tween idols in America doesn't satisfy you, so don't bother trying to lie."

Ahri heard a click on the other end, imagined Evelynn's jaw snapping shut in anger, how the tendons in her neck would stand out like steel cables.

"You want to be in front of a camera again, and not covered in blood this time. You want to sing and you want to be on stage." Sitting down on the edge of her bed, Ahri stared at herself in the mirror. She looked hungry, or so she thought. She _felt_ hungry most days, for something more than what her restricted diet forbade. "If you're with me, and maybe two or three other girls, we can be a buffer."

Evelynn just sounded darkly amused. "You think you can dazzle the media enough to make them forget? They'll turn their eyes aside and pretend it never happened?"

"I can make them do whatever the fuck I want," Ahri countered. "And they'll turn their heads any direction I tell them to."

All this for a childhood promise? Maybe, maybe. Mostly it was for her wife, because she knew exactly what she wanted and how to get there. All she needed was a little time, and support.

They'd never worked professionally together because there was always the risk that this could break them. But the risk was worth the reward. Evelynn was an uncompromising artist, and Ahri trusted her with her life. It was time to put that trust to the test.

If this worked, they could be gods.

"Okay," Evelynn said.

Ahri went still, eyebrows shooting up. Getting to her feet again, she stepped forward like she could be closer to Evelynn somehow, feeling her there in that room though they were an ocean apart. "Okay?"

Not that she was displeased, but she'd been expecting a bit more fight than this.

"You know I can't say no to you, _gumiho_. I'll need eight days. Be ready to record." There was a rustle on the other end of the line, the sound of Evelynn rapidly flipping through sheaves of paper. "I have to go now. If this is going to happen I need to make a lot of other phone calls. Goodbye. I love you."

The line went dead in her hand. Staring at it, Ahri could only let the quiet morning overwhelm her.

Then she started laughing.

 

* * *

 

 

Three days later and Ahri was finally wrapping up the photoshoot for her new scent line. There was a relaxed air to the whole thing, something that felt almost like the last day of school. Placing a palm over her stomach, Ahri tried to share in some of that good mood, but she was too anxious.

"A quick break for lunch and then we'll start again, Foxy."

Perking up, Ahri gave her most dazzling smile to Kwag Sol-mi, the art director. She was a friendly butch woman, and Ahri found herself gravitating to her implicitly. It was just nice to have a kindred spirit in the crew. In different places, on different sets, others had often similarly gravitated to Ahri. Her status as one of Korea's few openly trans idols meant certain people felt free to be vulnerable with her.

It was a good feeling.

"Did you see where my water bottle went?" she wondered. While everyone else was eating lunch, she needed to make sure she didn't bloat up too much. "I just made some peppermint tea and now I can't find it."

 _Just one more shoot and I'll get something to eat,_ she promised herself, feeling Evelynn's looming, judging, protective presence even though her wife was nowhere near.

Sol-mi made a noise of thought. "Maybe in your dressing room?" 

"I could have sworn I hid it behind your chair." Pulling her big fake fox tail up to her chest, Ahri hugged it tight just in case the mass of floof was hindering her vision somehow. 

Then a cold metal edge smacked against the back of her head. Anger roused, Ahri flipped her hair over her shoulder before glaring back at whoever had touched her without permission.

It was her wife, with Ahri's aluminium water bottle held loosely in one hand.

 _"Evelynn!"_ All her irritation evaporated in an instant, her poisonous scowl shifting into a wide grin. Ahri threw herself at Evelynn, wrapping arms and legs around her with a shout. "What are you doing here?"

Stumbling back one step, Evelynn dropped the water bottle to hold her in place, both hands cupping her lower thighs. "Hey." 

"Is that all you have to say?!"

One hand moved up. Grabbing Ahri's tail by the base, she gripped it in her fist before running a palm over the fake fur. "This is cute."

Resting her hands on Evelynn's shoulders, Ahri squeezed her legs tighter around her waist. "You weren't supposed to see it for at least another six months, along with the rest of the world." Then she remembered the very restricted guest list. "Wait a minute, how did you get on set?"

Her wife responded by tilting her head lower, letting reflective shades slip down her nose a bit. She winked, slowly, and provided no other answer.

Suddenly aware that she had just climbed Evelynn like a tree in front of the art director and half the crew, Ahri glanced around her and frowned. Wiggling out of her wife's arms, she landed on the floor with a click of her heels. "Fine. Keep your secrets. I have a perfume ad to finish."

Evelynn had a huge leather tote bag with her. She pulled a binder out of it, all business as she flipped through laminated pages. "Are you almost wrapped up, then?" 

"The crew is on their lunch break right now," Sol-mi said, watching them with a raised brow.

"Good. I wanted to go over some new lyrics with you."

Every set of eyes in the room was already on them, but at those words it intensified. Ahri swore she saw the whole lighting crew lean in, whispering already. "Not here, Eve."

"It'll take just a second," Evelynn said. "Promise."

"Eve!" Glancing around her, Ahri grabbed her wife by the wrist and dragged her off set and towards the dressing rooms. She slammed the door shut behind them, feeling ready to puff up and hiss like a cat. "You told me eight days."

Unbothered, Evelynn just stood at the doorway, fighting a losing battle against her smile. She pulled her sunglasses free, hooking them on the v-neck of her dress. "I said be ready to record in eight days." She pushed the binder into Ahri's hands, before capturing her wrists so that she couldn't retreat. "Obviously I arrived sooner to see you."

A tendril of heat spread out from where Evelynn's nails scraped, right over her pulse. One simple truth that never changed— whenever Evelynn touched her, Ahri wanted to melt into a puddle. Struggling to maintain professionalism, she ignored it to flip through the binder instead, and wrinkled her nose at what she found.

It was all junk. Lyrics Evelynn had written for other bands, some of it ripped right from fansites.

"Is this a joke?"

"I needed to give you a convenient excuse to immediately drag me somewhere private."

 Ahri snapped the binder shut. "And of course I fell right into your trap."

She glared up at Evelynn only to buckle under the heat of that gaze. Evelynn's eyes were famous, a honey-brown so light they shone gold in the right angle. Those eyes netted her a heap of trouble, the whole reason she hadn't set foot on Korean soil in three years.

There'd been a long-standing feud between Evelynn and a persistent 'journalist'. He hounded her in every space she carved out for herself. Online, in person, over the mail. No one ever did anything, and no one took it seriously until he decided to escalate, and she gave him the photo of his career.

With just snapshot from his phone, he tried to ruin her. In it, Evelynn was standing over him with his camera crushed in one hand, her famous eyes wrathful and expectant and blank all at once, his blood pouring down her face. She'd headbutted him so hard she'd broken his nose, and the yellow street lights haloed her like a fallen angel.

Public opinion shattered in one of three ways. Either you felt the creep got what he deserved, you thought she was a violent psycho who deserved to burn, or you repeatedly and eagerly requested that she headbutt you next. 

It was the only scandal that gave Evelynn reason to pause. To assess herself, and wonder exactly who she was, and what kind of image she wanted to present to the world. As with everything, she refused to do this in half-measure. A self-imposed exile was so agonizingly on-brand for Evelynn, and Ahri hated every second of it. Even so, she'd never tried to change Evelynn's mind until now.

"So rude," Evelynn lamented. "I fly across the globe at your command and I'm greeted with accusations instead of kisses." 

"You don't want a kiss."

Her grin turned razor sharp, gold eyes widening. "...[You're right](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHMrNfNcyIE)."

Instinctively Ahri found herself backing up a step.

"No, no, _gumiho_." Evelynn slunk closer, hips swaying, hypnotizing. Every move calculated. Even when Ahri closed her eyes the temptation was there, Evelynn burned into them like the flash of camera lights. "Don't run away from me." 

 _Everyone else does,_ was left unspoken. _Not you._

"I'm not."

But she was, more small steps backward until the edge of her vanity table hit the small of her back.

Warmth pooled over her hip, Evelynn's hand hot through the skin-tight fabric of her dress as she pulled her fake fox tail off. Evelynn kept a hard grip, like she wanted to sink inside her, grab her bones. "Then why do I feel like I'm hunting you down?"

Ahri stood up straighter, a little tremble running down her spine. It didn't escape Evelynn's notice; she tilted her head to the side and grinned.

In heels, they were almost matched. But Evelynn still seemed to tower over her, craning down from that great distance to nuzzle her face against Ahri's neck, inhaling deep. "It must be because every time I look at you I just want to eat you up." 

"You make it," Ahri said, and hated how breathless she sounded, "Very hard to stay on track when I'm supposed to be working."

"They won't miss you," Evelynn promised her, standing close enough that Ahri could feel the vibration of every word in her chest. "Not as badly as I did."

 _You're the one who left,_ she wanted to snap, but that was terribly unfair. Evelynn wanted to disappear for a while, in order to focus on where exactly her career would go next. It wasn't as though they never saw each other, it was just...

It was just no one understood her like Evelynn. Some days she felt like a doll, limbs ripped apart with the sockets and joints exposed. She was just pieces. Skin. Eyes. Hair. Lips. Tits. The space of flesh between the hem of her dress and the top of her stockings.

That's where Evelynn was stroking her right then, coaxing her thighs apart. Her palm slid up, cupping Ahri between her legs, and she couldn't bite back a whimper.

Evelynn made her whole. From scalp to toes, everything finally connected together. A woman's body, a _human_ body. Not everything cut up and ready to be sold. Not a magazine cover or a perfume ad or a music video.

When Evelynn touched her she felt alive. It was the perfect high, fleeting and immaculate.

Two fingers pressed against her, the only two with blunt fake nails. Evelynn stroked over her lips, and the indirect pressure on her clit made her cry out. Evelynn kissed her open mouth to steal the breath right from her lungs, the untrimmed claws on her other hand hooking under Ahri's thigh to spread her legs wider.

Even as she molded Ahri together, Evelynn was pulling her apart again. She unzipped Ahri's dress only just to hike it up past her hips, the stitches popping. Her breasts spilled out of her bra, half-unclasped. Evelynn undressed her wife by piecemeal, leaving Ahri disheveled and panting.

Makeup products clattered behind her, dropping onto the floor as Evelynn draped herself over Ahri, tongue hot in her mouth.

"Touch me," Ahri pleaded in a whisper, holding Evelynn's head in both arms. She forced her down, twisting and whining at the feeling of Evelynn's mouth on her skin. She'd stopped petting her clit but Ahri could still feel an echo of the touch, torturing her until she ached. "God, _please_. It _hurts_."

That made Evelynn draw back to look at her, both hands braced on the vanity. It wasn't unusual for Evelynn to be cold as ice with her lovers. The distant persona was a part of the game as much as it was a genuine wall she put up, afraid of the vulnerability intimacy brought.

With Ahri, she melted. Those gold eyes reflected every stray thought, nothing left to hide behind anymore. She wanted Ahri desperately. She loved her. But loving someone always meant opening yourself up to be hurt.

And so there was always something _terrified_ in Evelynn when she let loose— when she allowed herself to _want—_  a small beaten thing that flinched at every raised voice.

"Show me where."

Dipping her fingers into Ahri's mouth, Evelynn ordered her to wet them.

Ahri nipped, teeth chastising, her tongue leaving them dripping. She savored the sensation of being filled before pulling them between her legs. Working Evelynn's fingers just under the fabric of her underwear, Ahri kept their eyes locked, lips scant inches apart. Relief hit her as crisp and clear as spring water, the shock of it making her gasp again.

"Good?" Evelynn wondered, warm and smug.

Nodding quickly, Ahri kissed her hard enough to smear her lipstick. Evelynn took care of her, teasing her entrance in lengthy strokes before focusing her clit until she squirmed. Arousal built, so fast and hard Ahri's legs started shaking. She begged without sound, without words, bucking against Evelynn's hand.

Not ready to see her break yet, Evelynn pulled free. Ahri's cry of dismay was quickly hushed by another kiss, and a growled command as Evelynn finished undressing her. Left in just heels and stockings, Ahri braced herself on the vanity as Evelynn sank down to both knees.

"Oh, you're so pretty," Evelynn whispered, thumb brushing over sandy blonde curls. She pushed Ahri's lips apart, kissing her exposed clit. Lapping at her with the flat of her tongue, Evelynn sighed in satisfaction.

It was still good, just different. Ahri had to start the climb from the beginning, though it was easier with Evelynn's mouth leaving her wet as sin. She suckled at Ahri's lips, the press of teeth not biting, but close enough to make Ahri twitch every time. She knew just how to reach the edge of pain, the perfect threshold to make it feel like it _should_ hurt, which made the resulting pleasure all the stronger.

Shaking, she made fists with her hands to keep from grabbing Evelynn's head and grinding against her tongue until she came. She wanted to feel this for as long as she could, the perfect harmony that Evelynn's attention always gave her.

Evelynn kept her eyes closed, in focus and in rapture. Lost in bliss, she stroked her hands over Ahri's thighs, forcing her legs open wider. She only stopped to whisper filthy sweet nothings into the air, her low rasp promising so much more. Her lips and chin shone bright in the lamp light, a string of spit clinging to her when she pulled back to finally make eye contact with Ahri again.

"Don't hold back," she paused long enough to say, before planting another long, loving kiss to Ahri's swollen clit. "You know what I want to hear."

Sealing her lips around Ahri's clit, her eyes crinkled in amusement at how her wife shouted. They were both far past the point where they cared if anyone heard them, if indeed Evelynn ever cared at all.

All it took was a few firm, rough strokes. Just a twist of fingers teasing her entrance, and Ahri was gone. She shook, each cry swallowed back on a gasp. When the light cleared from behind her eyes she found she was curled up around Evelynn again, arms and legs, both hands fisted in her hair and her face bracketed by Ahri's thighs.

Evelynn patiently bore it until Ahri relaxed, bit by bit. When she was free she shook her head, grinning with a laugh that sounded almost reluctant. "You get so cute when you're trying not to scream." She wiped her lips clean, licking her fingers idly as she stood up.

Ahri wanted to respond, but she was jelly-limbed and limp, and all she wanted to do was curl up on Evelynn's lap and fall asleep.

Instead, she let Evelynn pull her up to her feet and kiss her again.

"I'm home," Evelynn murmured, stroking a palm over the back of Ahri's head.

Ahri held her closer.

Then Evelynn started circling Ahri, putting her back together again. Meticulous in her own way, she fixed Ahri's clothing and makeup and hair, brushing out the worst of the just-fucked gnarls in her blonde tresses.

"There," Evelynn said, stepping back and popping the cap back on her lipstick. She admired her handiwork with an appreciative head-to-toe sweep, the kind that left Ahri feeling distinctly underdressed. "Now you're perfect."

Ahri glanced at herself in the mirror to double check, though of course she trusted Evelynn to make her look her best. They'd spent their entire lives practicing makeup on each other. "You're a magician," she declared, giving Evelynn a light kiss on the cheek to avoid any lipstick stains.

"That's why you married me." Evelynn made no attempt to hide her smug smile. Instead she shifted to stand behind Ahri, guiding her towards the door with both hands on her shoulders. "Now get out there! You have a photoshoot to finish."

She ushered Ahri out with a pert slap on the ass, making her squeak and flinch out of range.

In the wake of all that, Ahri thought she might be lethargic. Instead she worked like a woman on fire, possessed with more energy than she knew what to do with. Evelynn joined them on set a little later, staying just on the edge of Ahri's vision at all times.

Every pose melted effortless onto the lens, the shoot wrapping up an hour earlier than anyone projected. And every time Ahri thought she might start to flag, she saw a pair of golden eyes burning into her from the sidelines, swimming with adoration that bordered on worship.

She took it, fed off it. The end results flickered across Sol-mi's laptop one by one as they went over the photos together.

"Mmm." Evelynn wrapped her long arms around Ahri's torso, chin resting on her shoulder. "These look great. They're dripping with charisma."

"Do we have to say dripping?" Sol-mi wondered out loud, mumbling as she shut the laptop. "We can't think of any other word?"

She was only a little grouchy because Evelynn had _clearly_ broken onto the set just to fuck her wife. But at the same time, she couldn't argue with the finished product. So she instead slid a stack of paper into Evelynn's hands.

Evelynn's voice dropped ten degrees. "....What... is this?"

"An NDA," Sol-mi and Ahri said at the same time.

"A _what?"_

Ahri crossed her arms, jutting one hip out, her tone imperious. "If you want in on my private photoshoots, you need to follow the same rules as everyone else. So sign them, or else you _will_ hear from my lawyers." 

"Seriously? I'm your wife!"

"Well, my lawyers could fix that, too."

_"Gumiho!"_

 

* * *

 

 

Evelynn sulked the entire drive home.

"You're _so mean_ to me," she lamented, slumping in her seat as much as she could while driving. "And I'm nothing except the most perfect and caring spouse."

"It's just smart business practice, baby." Pulling her legs up under her, Ahri undid her heels and toed them off. She sighed in relief, wiggling her feet once they were free before turning back to her wife. "Don't tell me you're still mad."

"I don't like contracts being thrust at me without warning."

Reaching over, she trailed her nail over the curve of Evelynn's ear, smiling when she twitched away. "Don't worry. You'll have plenty of time to go over the next one."

That piqued her interest. Evelynn tore her eyes from the road just for a moment, curiosity glinting gold-bright in her eyes.

"We start as soon as we get home. I have something to show you." She dropped her hand on Evelynn's lap, fingers tucking under the hem of her dress to touch warm flesh. Evelynn's hips shifted slightly, her body responding on instinct. "Right after I pay you back for that little stunt in my dressing room."

When Ahri touched her, she was already wet. A low exhale escaped her as Evelynn clutched the wheel tighter, eyes focused stalwartly ahead. The car engine hummed louder, Evelynn's tension translating to a lead foot. It seemed to surround them as if the noise came from Evelynn herself. A low rumble. Almost a purr, not quite a roar.

"Stop that," Evelynn muttered at last, between grit teeth, and Ahri withdrew. She sank back into her seat, dragging her tongue over the length of her fingers. "You're bad."

"If I don't get at you while you're distracted, you try to take over," Ahri complained, pulling her blonde hair over one shoulder so she could play with it. Idly she started working it into a braid, musing out loud. "I like being in charge sometimes, you know."

"Do I know. Sweetheart, the bedroom is the only place you _aren't_ in charge."

Ahri's face scrunched up in a smirk, falsely sweet and childishly mean. So Evelynn reached over and flicked her nose.

"Ow!"

Past the guarded gate to their home, safe in the garage with the doors surrounding them, Evelynn clicked Ahri's seatbelt free and then bodily dragged the other woman onto her lap.

"Now, what did you want to show me?"

 

* * *

 

 

The two of them had never worked together professionally before, so Ahri was a little nervous at first. But it quickly fell into place alongside every other aspect of their life. They understood each other intuitively, often better than they understood themselves. Chattering about their plans took up most of their mornings. As they wrapped up their other obligations, and as Evelynn slowly reintegrated back into Korean society, they discovered something important. 

They liked being coworkers.

Over breakfast, they went over more of their options. "I'm so glad we decided to do this." Ahri propped her elbows on the counter, wiggling on the bar stool. "What've you got for me today?"

Evelynn hummed in agreement. When she kissed her, she tasted like bitter black coffee. "Just listen."

Linking her phone to the wireless speakers in their kitchen, Evelynn searched through a few tracks before landing on the one she wanted. Pressing play, she savored her coffee with a pleased expression.

Ahri closed her eyes in concentration, frowning slightly. The melody was muted, but haunting. She wondered what exactly she was supposed to be listening for when the vocals started. The very first note stretched out like a violin chord, a low wail that vibrated through her entire body.

Buzzed, Ahri's eyes flew open to see Evelynn more smug than ever.

"Who is _that?"_ she demanded, just a little breathless. She snatched up Evelynn's phone, reading that name out loud. "Kai'sa? How do we know her? How have I not heard her before now?"

"You might know her better from some of her choreography," Evelynn said. "That's where she's most comfortable. Musically she's resistant to being shackled down, so nobody's ever signed her on. She likes keeping it indie. But she's got a voice like—"

Ahri didn't let her finish. "Like an angel."

"Mmm. Usually. She can get brassy as an alto sax when she's in the mood."

Something about Evelynn's tight smile made Ahri do a double-take.

"Oh," Ahri said. "So we _know_ her. Do you feel comfortable having a lover on the same team as your wife?"

"Ex-lover. If we excluded people I've slept with, we'd have nobody left in the business."

Ahri rolled her eyes. "Don't exaggerate."

Still, she could see why Evelynn had brought Kai'sa to her attention. The song itself wasn't to Ahri's taste; It was a little too blue and sweeping. But Kai'sa's operatic quality made her extremely attractive. Later that week they set up a meeting since Kai'sa was in town, only partly because Evelynn wanted to see her old friend.

"We need to make sure she meshes with our vibe. We're the opposite of indie, so she might not be on board."

"Just try not to fuck her unless we know contracts are off the table," Ahri said, with some amusement.

Evelynn's hand flew to her chest, gasping in shock. "I'd never fuck someone on their own contract! Give me some credit."

"That's not what I—" Ahri stopped at the sharp smile on Evelynn's face. "Hmm. Okay, you're negging me. That's fine."

Her wife moved around the counter, wrapping one arm around Ahri's waist. "Oh, _sweetie_. Do you not know what negging is? I don't think you know what that word means."

"I know when you're grating my nerves on purpose," she said, squeezing Evelynn's hand to let her know she was only joking.

"Well it's like my dad always used to say." Evelynn quickly swapped to English. " _Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen_."

"That's gross. You're gross."

Laughter, their usual biting back-and-forth, kept them distracted from their nerves. As things turned out, they needn't have worried.

 

* * *

 

 

Kai'sa had black hair when Ahri first met her. She walked into her living room after a quick shopping trip, not expecting to find a stranger on the couch. The meeting officially wasn't supposed to happen for another hour, and Evelynn hadn't warned her the other woman arrived early.

Stopping in her tracks, Ahri couldn't even muster up shock, much less anger at the intrusion.

The woman appeared asleep, eyes closed and cheek resting on one arm. With her legs curled up under her, dressed in all black leather and lace, Kai'sa looked a bit like a wandering, dreamy forest spirit. Sensing another presence in the room, or maybe feeling Ahri's stare, Kai'sa slowly opened her eyes. They were a shade of blue so intense Ahri mistook them for purple contacts.

"Oh!" Kai'sa smiled, shoulders hunching in apology. "Hi! You must be Ahri. Your wife let me in, sorry if I startled you."

"It's no problem," Ahri said, quickly connecting the voice to this face. "I've been looking forward to meeting you, Kai'sa."

"Me, too!"

When Kai'sa stood up, Ahri had to fight the urge to take a step back. She was _tall,_  almost as tall as Evelynn in heels. Watching her was like watching a dark flower unfurl, every movement somehow graceful and transformative. Just getting to her feet netted a change, liquid almost, from a spindly-legged fawn curled up on her couch to something looming and large and covered in shadows.

 _Oh no,_ Ahri thought in distress. _She's hot and nice._

A devastating combination.

"You like her," Evelynn crooned later that night.

"We need her for the band," Ahri said firmly.

"Yeah," Evelynn drifted closer in their bed. "But you _like_ her. Want me to tell you what she's into?"

Normally, Ahri would have played along. There wasn't any point in pretending that Kai'sa wasn't her type, that she wasn't... _devastatingly_ attractive. But Ahri pressed a finger to Evelynn's lips instead, forcing her to be serious. "We can't do this, Eve."

Falling silent, Evelynn kissed Ahri's finger, waiting for her to continue. They both lay on their side, facing each other. Occasionally Evelynn's leg snuck out, toes stroking over Ahri's calf to maintain contact.

"Bands have broken up over less. Best friends have become enemies, to say nothing of how messy a romance would be." Ahri kept her voice firm. "So we won't. Not even as a joke. Okay?"

Evelynn easily agreed. "Kai'sa is off limits. Should we add that to the contract?"

It was another joke, but Ahri still wasn't in the mood for it. It almost felt like an accusation, and she curled in on herself at the mere thought. "We're better than the shitty old men who signed us on, Eve. No _dating clauses_ in our contracts." She spat the words out.

Again Evelynn agreed, taking both of Ahri's hands. Pushing them into fists, she brought them to her lips and kissed them in apology. "Then we'll just have to trust each other."

Ahri finally smiled. "Easy."

 

* * *

 

"Two more," Ahri said.

"One more," Evelynn responded.

"Five's a good number."

Evelynn just looked at her, hair bunched up on top of her head in a messy bun. They were both covered in a light sheen of sweat, the gym sweltering.

"One more," she said again.

Ahri smiled helplessly, one hand on her hip. "...One more."

 

* * *

 

 

Ahri knew who she wanted, but it would take some convincing to get Evelynn to consider it. Virality did not impress Evelynn. As she succinctly pointed out, people could go viral by literally eating shit. It took something stronger to sway their diva. As Kai'sa and Ahri tried to find their fourth, they knew only a true artist would please her.

"She's so picky," Kai'sa said, lounging casually on their couch once more. But this time she rested her head on Ahri's lap, affectionate and physical as a cat. "I love it."

When Kai'sa stretched, the hem of her shirt rode up a bit. Vicious marks kissed her pale skin; Ahri traced them with her fingernail, each one angry red and familiar. Evelynn had a flogger with a custom tongue, one that could leave the perfect imprint of a heart behind when wielded by an expert hand. "I see my wife left an impression on you."

"Yeah, she's inspiring."

"Not what I meant." Eyebrow cocked, Ahri pulled up Kai'sa's shirt a little more to press her thumb against a prominent bruise.

Kai'sa flinched, half-sitting up. "Huh? Oh! Uh, no, Eve and I aren't like that!" She turned red, smoothing her shirt back down. "I had a date with a new domme last night," she explained, flustered. "Evelynn supervised to make sure I was safe." Twisting on Ahri's lap, Kai'sa pressed her palms to her cheeks, squealing. "So she let me borrow her... you know. Her _stuff_."

Between the three of them, Ahri wasn't sure who promised to court the most controversy. But one thing was becoming increasingly clear: if this had started as an attempt to clean up Evelynn's reputation, it was no longer on that trajectory.

"All right," Evelynn declared, arriving in the room on silent feet only to loudly announce her presence right behind the couch. Squeaking in surprise, Kai'sa almost rolled off Ahri's lap onto the floor. "I'm here. Let me see the meme girl."

Ahri tilted her head back, frowning up at Evelynn. "You didn't watch the link I sent you?"

"I want to watch it on your phone," Evelynn said. "If I start sullying my search history with trending trash it'll mess up all my algorithms."

"She's not a _meme_ ," Kai'sa insisted. "She's viral, there's a difference."

"Oh, _bokkie_." Evelynn's voice dripped, sucrose and condescension. It was the only scrap of Afrikaans she'd bothered learning so far, mainly because it made Kai'sa light up every time, no matter the context. Leaning over the back of the couch, she reached down to stroke her fingers through Kai'sa's hair. "It's so cute how you think I care."

Reprimanding her because she knew Kai'sa wouldn't, Ahri lightly slapped Evelynn's wrist. Evelynn grinned, shaking her hand as if that really stung.

"Behave," she said, passing her phone over.

So Evelynn watched the music video. Ahri had already broken the repeat button, knew every angle by heart. She studied Evelynn instead, trying to decipher her thoughts. Her wife stood there with a hand over her mouth, poker face intact through the whole video.

When it was over, Kai'sa and Ahri exchanged a nervous look. Ahri had been the one to find this girl, this Akali. Something about her had inspired the same instant magnetic appeal she'd felt when she heard Kai'sa for the first time.

But would Evelynn agree?

After a long moment of thoughtful silence, Evelynn tapped the repeat button.

_Success!_

No commentary was offered, not until Evelynn had watched the video three times. Gently ushering Kai'sa off her lap, Ahri stood at Evelynn's elbow to watch the video herself.

It still thrilled her, the wordplay and clarity razor sharp. On screen, Akali sat surrounded by computer towers, lit only by the glow of a dozen monitors. In the semidarkness, surrounded by wires, the story unfolded visually and lyrically. She wasn't just an artist, she was a scientist, or an engineer. Each verse had as much information and layer to it as a microchip. Every aspect, no matter how minuscule, was carefully crafted and bolted together into something with more horsepower than a Ferrari.

Through it all Akali herself provided the human aspect. Sinew and blood and sweat. Organic in contrast to the machine, the beauty of the human body splayed out in contrast to its inescapable and unromantic biological reality.

Kai'sa had already chattered Ahri's ear off about the symbolism of the negative space and metaphor in the dancing, though Ahri personally thought Akali could use a little more finesse.

Evelynn finally put the video on loop. "Hmm."

"It's got two million views," Ahri couldn't help but point out.

"Mhm."

Ahri was getting impatient, pressing Evelynn for something less monosyllabic. "Do you not like her?"

That forced Evelynn to admit what they already knew. "I like her."

"You think she's a bad fit for the band?"

Evelynn finally tore her eyes away from the music video, blinking slow as if waking from a lengthy daydream. It continued playing in the background; heavy beats thundered, the pulse of something clawed and hungry. As she rapped, the muscles under Akali's naked skin rippled in the surreal blue glow of the computer monitors. Tattooed scales seemed to shift and writhe like the real thing, the dragon dancing on her shoulder blades. "I think she's perfect."

Kai'sa smiled quizzically. "So what's the problem?"

"Ahri's always been a vixen. And Kai'sa, you're my little doe," Evelynn said after a moment of thought. "I'm not sure I can handle a predator in my territory."

"Evelynn," Ahri said. "What exactly do you think a fox is?"

"You're domesticated."

"Play nice," Kai'sa demanded. She climbed over the back of the couch to join them, legs swinging like a butterfly knife. Taking the phone and setting it aside, she drew Evelynn closer in a hug. "Let's call up this Akali girl and talk to her. What do you say?"

"Hmm."

She stepped a little closer, Ahri and Evelynn with Kai'sa between them.

"Sounds like a plan," Evelynn said.

 

* * *

 

 

A flurry of emails were exchanged, but no phone calls. Not at first. The plan was to meet her in person before anything.

If pressed, Ahri would later admit she wanted to catch her off-guard.

None of them were expecting a Japanese-styled dojo. Ahri had to check the address a few times to make sure they were in the correct location; it looked like Akali's family home was connected to the building.

Twisting forward with her hands clutched behind her back, Kai'sa gave Ahri an almost coy smirk. "Maybe they're taking new students."

"If we're lucky," Evelynn said, one arm draped over her shoulders.

Inside, they were greeted by a graying man, an uncle, Akali's guardian. After a lot of flustered confusion heralded by the arrival of three very out-of-place popstars, they managed to ascertain Akali's location.

She was the sole person on the main floor at this hour. She bounced in a set of tight shorts and a sports bra and nothing else. Nothing except the wireless headphones in her ears, pulsing a beat that they could all hear and recognize even from a few yards away. The dragon tattoo identified her immediately, and something low simmered in Ahri's belly at the confirmation that it was real ink and not just body paint for the music video.

Akali was a vision. She carried herself with the kind of swagger that only practiced physical confidence could bring, equally at home on a stripper pole or at the weights section of a public gym. Shifting in place, Ahri struggled to remember why she'd come here as every flex of Akali's well-muscled body drove her to distraction.

"Oohh," Kai'sa said. "She's so _cute_. Like a fun-sized candy."

Ahri glanced sidelong at her, unable to resist. "So you want to eat her up?"

At least she wasn't the only one enjoying the show. As Akali slowly worked through her routine, the three of them watched, all equally fascinated.

But one of them was displeased.

"How long is she going to ignore us?" Evelynn muttered darkly, snapping Ahri out of it. "We came all this way to see her."

Ahri set a hand on her chest, keeping her from moving forward. "She doesn't know we're here, Eve. Look at her."

It was true. She hadn't turned her back once, too focused on her routine. Akali paused only to sinuously slide from side to side, humming along to the music in her ears. Even when she stopped to grab a training weapon, she swung it through the air with her back to the entrance.

"Well, we should let her know we're waiting."

"Really?" Kai'sa covered her grin with one hand. "I kind of want to see how long she'll stay oblivious."

Evelynn wasn't in the mood for games, oddly enough.

Instead she strode across the mat, before Ahri could stop her. Ahri winced, expecting there to be an accident as Akali swung her wooden weapon from side to side. It wasn't a sword as far as Ahri could tell, instead some kind of curved staff, but it was definitely made to hurt.

The next time Akali turned to swing, Evelynn caught the practice weapon in her bare hand.

[They locked eyes.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40LT88Yb19c)

Surprised, Akali retreated a step only for Evelynn to follow her. She leaned back; Evelynn craned forward. Even without heels she towered over the other girl, staring down at her with an intensity that almost seemed angry. The movement felt like fight but looked like a dance, and for a split second Ahri wasn't sure who was leading.

Akali froze. Her grip tightened on the weapon's handle, her mouth a thin, tight line.

Slowly, Evelynn tapped the side of her own face.

Getting the message, Akali took off her headphones. _Agony's Embrace_ poured out, one of Evelynn's most popular singles. From Akali's perspective, this might well have felt like the real world and fantasy had collided, the music video spilling into reality.

With a sharp tug, Akali pulled the weapon free of Evelynn's grasp. "Don't do that again," she said. "This isn't a toy. If this hits you, it'll hurt."

"Do you promise?" Evelynn said.

Akali's brow furrowed.

_Evelynn, behave!_

Standing tall, Akali tapped her open palm with the blunt edge of her weapon. "You're... Siren?" Then she looked to the side, doing a double take at the sight of Ahri. "And Foxy's here too?"

The stage names were more well-known than their real ones. Beside Ahri, Kai'sa huffed in amusement, though she was used to getting overshadowed in the circles she frequented.

"I hope we aren't interrupting anything important," Ahri said. "But we thought we'd drop by for a personal visit. You seemed open to the idea in your emails."

Akali was shorter than Ahri had anticipated. The video had made her seem giant, a pillar of confidence. "Guess I wasn't actually expecting you to be real."

"Oh, we're real," Evelynn said. "What remains to be seen is if _you_ are."

Crossing her arms, Akali leaned back a bit to regard Evelynn. "You're real funny, at least," she said, her smirk unsure if it wanted to land on confused or amused. All in all, she was taking this very well. She remained composed despite being half-naked and caught unaware.

Ahri was pleased.

...Until later that night, when it came time to draft up the contracts. She paced, and worried her lips, and drank too much tea until Evelynn finally took her by the arm and dragged her away from her office.

Thick trees surrounded their bedroom balcony, the metal railing warm from the balmy summer night. While Ahri brooded over the edge, Evelynn uncorked a bottle of wine for them, dry and white the way Ahri preferred it.

"Let's enjoy some alone time together," Evelynn said, the words a promise.

Turning to accept it, Ahri only took a single sip before she blurted out, "I think we're in trouble, Eve."

Evelynn poured herself a glass, uncaring, as if she hadn't heard. "Your diet allows a little wine now and again, doesn't it?"

"Evelynn."

Golden eyes finally darted away from the wine to focus on her. "What?"

"Things aren't going according to my plan."

To her credit, Evelynn didn't take this as another opportunity to tease Ahri. She could sense this was something too precarious for their usual humor, and dancing on a razor blade of trust wasn't a good idea right then. "Okay. Talk to me."

"I started this for you," Ahri said, distressed. "But somehow that goal got away from me."

"Well, I never really expected things to go according to plan?" Evelynn responded, a little cautiously. "They rarely do."

A single breeze stirred, hot and damp. It offered no relief from the hot summer night, just as Evelynn's words did little to lessen her worries. Ahri stayed stubbornly quiet, not liking the truth in the statement even if she loved the reassurance that Evelynn wasn't lying. Not even to spare her feelings.

"More importantly." Then, gentle, Evelynn hooked a finger under her chin and drew her gaze back up. "What makes you think I'm not enjoying every second of this?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

"So you're nervous for no reason? That's just anxiety-brain talking, babe."

No, there was a reason. But it was messy, and not in the good way. "I don't know how I ever thought we wouldn't court controversy with this. We have two unknowns on our team and they're not exactly traditional."

"That's good," Evelynn said. "Unless you wanted to make something bland? Play around with mass appeal?"

She stood up straighter, almost in horror. "No!"

"Me, neither. So what's the problem? Why've you got cold feet all of a sudden?"

Because now it was real and not just a dream, and that meant it could break.

"I thought if I was just—" ( _a good girl )_ "If we were careful, maybe things wouldn't..." ( _no one would want to hurt us_ ).

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

That was going to happen regardless. Evelynn had few friends in the media. Even if that photographer deserved what he got, even if it was worth the lawsuit and the settlement, nobody was liable to _forget_ it anytime soon. No one with a stake in keeping them pliable would forget that Evelynn refused to bend.

Calm as ever, Evelynn weathered it all with a shrug. "A married couple forming a group together was always going to garner a lot of attention, both negative and positive."

That was the worst part. Her naive hope, masqueraded by a bluster of confidence. The worst part was she really had believed what she told Evelynn all those weeks ago. She'd promised an environment where Evelynn could make her music with little scrutiny, and here was confirmation that Evelynn hadn't believed her for a second.

"Akali hasn't even confirmed whether she wants to join us or not," Evelynn went on. "So if you really want someone who'll get the cameras off me, someone polite and demure we can point to and hide behind and pretend we're normal with, we can do that."

"I don't."

"So..."

A stress headache was forming between her eyes, pulsing harder and harder with every passing second. "I know the second we go public we'd be under scrutiny. I just wanted you to feel protected when that inevitably happened," she said. "Whatever it took to make you come back home to me."

There it was. 

Taken aback, Evelynn looked off-kilter. Her whole body language shifted, uneven and wide-eyed. Closing her eyes, Ahri took the wine glass and knocked it all back with a few quick gulps.

"Always thinking about me," Evelynn murmured, pouring her another glass at her insistence.

"This spiraled out of my control. I won't let that happen again."

Thankfully, Evelynn hadn't leapt to the worst possible conclusion, as Ahri feared she would. Instead Evelynn had recovered from her shock to swing right back into fond amusement. "Well there's your mistake, _gumiho_. Control is just an illusion."

"I can still control _this_ ," she insisted.

Merciful tonight, Evelynn sipped her own wine without arguing that point. "All right. But what's more important? Being safe? Not taking this risk, this opportunity? Quitting while we're ahead?"

She finished her first drink while Ahri nursed her second, wondering if it was worth breaking her diet for.

Stepping forward, Evelynn tucked her free hand on the back of Ahri's neck. She pulled Ahri to her chest, comforting her. "Or... taking all this raw energy and completely changing the landscape of the game?"

"You think we can do that?"

"I knew we could the moment you asked me to come back."

She had come back the moment Ahri asked, hadn't she? All it took was one phone call. All Ahri had to do was ask and Evelynn had sprinted back to her side. What more could Evelynn do to display her trust?

Suddenly, she felt even more foolish for needing Evelynn to soothe all her fears. Though Ahri fought it, a single furious tear slipped down her cheek before she roughly wiped it away. "[I just don't want you to get hurt, Eve.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofIkYeL6Y8A)"

Evelynn's body shook with a laugh. "You big softie."

"Yes," she said, voice muffled when she pressed her face harder against Evelynn's chest.

Then she pulled her down, demanding a kiss. Evelynn happily obliged, taking their glasses in one hand and setting them aside. She pushed Ahri against the balcony door, and she almost sank down against the glass panes. But Evelynn insisted she stay upright, her hands fumbling the zipper to her skirt.

She tasted like dry white wine, all her sweetness made complex by bitter acidity. Full and flooding, filling her mouth and trailing down her lips. A wet line painted down her throat, heat buzzing through her.

She pushed up Evelynn's shirt, unclasping her bra to toy with her breasts unhindered. Sharp metal studs twisted between her knuckles, each tug making Evelynn whimper louder, and louder.

An echoing ache pounded between her own legs, every inch of her in agony for lack of being touched.

Ahri moved them to the bed, unable to keep steady for much longer. They stripped naked, all their favorite games tossed aside in the need of the moment. Ahri wanted touch, to feel all of Evelynn pressed up against her. She could have spent the whole night just kissing her, or licking her metal piercings until they shone from the attention.

Shifting closer, her breath stuttered when she reached between Evelynn's legs to feel liquid heat pooling around her fingers. "Ooh, you're so wet already. But I think we can make you wetter."

Bowing her head against Ahri's shoulder, Evelynn nodded, a pleased note rumbling in her chest. There was only so much of that should take before needing more. Fumbling in their bedside dresser, Ahri cracked open a bottle. Then, unable to resist, she let the contents drip onto Evelynn's bare stomach without any preamble.

She nearly leapt off the bed. "Shit!"

Ahri sat back on her heels, eyes narrowing in pleasure. "Oh no. Is it cold?" she asked innocently.

Evelynn wiped a palm over her stomach, leaving a shiny swipe of lube behind. "You know it is, get that shit-eating grin off your face."

But she then dipped lower, spreading it between her lips. Evelynn relaxed against the bed again as Ahri enjoyed the view, still sitting between her knees. After a murmured request, her hand joined Evelynn's. Careful not to get in her way, she let Evelynn focus on her clit while she teased her entrance.

After a hushed request, she went deeper. The resulting moan left her warm in the face, flushed and pleased with herself. She worked two fingers inside of Evelynn, tight heat constricting around her with every flutter of pleasure.

It was hard to resist falling apart under their combined effort. Evelynn tightened around her fingers, back arching up sharply. Ahri kept her grounded with a hand on her hip, enjoying the sight of a rare, genuine smile on Evelynn's face. It only lasted as long as the orgasm did, fading away with the aftershocks to be replacing with ragged gasping.

 _One more,_ Ahri thought, not letting Evelynn relax. She shoved Evelynn's hand away, replacing it with her mouth. Evelynn shifted again, writhing eagerly from overstimulation.

"Fffffuuuck," she hissed, making Ahri giggle. "You're _so mean_ to me."

Because she was the only one who could get away with it. Call it a perk of marriage or their long-lasting friendship; either way, it was a right she exercised as often as she could. It was a flex of power, a reaffirmation.

And as much as Evelynn protested, she loved it.

Keeping one arm braced over Evelynn's stomach, she kept her from bucking too much as she focused on making her come again. She didn't know exactly what would work but she could guess, curling her fingers and searching until she made Evelynn moan hoarsely.

She felt Evelynn's orgasm, rippling over her hands and hammering against her tongue. She let Evelynn run wild, trying to stay with her and suck away every last shred of sensation she could steal. Satisfied only when Evelynn begged her to stop, Ahri sat back again, stroking her own breasts and using her wet fingers to touch herself.

At least until Evelynn yanked her back down onto the mattress, nose against the sheets. "Hey!"

Getting up to her elbows, she glared over her shoulder only to falter at the sight that greeted her. Evelynn seemed almost feral in the dark, face flushed and pupils blown from arousal. Pulling Ahri's hips up firmly but gently, she shuffled closer and landed a slap so hard it cracked the air.

Ahri bit her lip, bowing her head again to keep from shouting. "... _Ow_ ," she said instead, slowly, grinding it out.

"You've been asking for this," Evelynn said, spanking her again. This one was lighter, a tap on her other cheek.

"I have not."

Evelynn's breath was suddenly at her ear, her piercings two harsh spots of pressure on Ahri's shoulder blades. "Then tell me to stop."

She didn't say anything, but she knew the flush spreading down her spine spoke loud enough. Satisfied, Evelynn hit her again, but never as hard as that first time. It was a slow ascent to reach that level of intensity again. Each slap of flesh accompanied a muffled whimper as Ahri buried her face into the pillows.

By the end of it she was a trembling mess, the pillow wet from a mix of tears and the fabric clenched tightly between her teeth. She huffed out through her nose, every exhale labored.

It was worse when Evelynn stopped. Because then all the blood was rushing to her irritated skin, hot and aching as metal left in sunlight.

When she dared peek over her shoulder again, Evelynn laughed.

"What?" Evelynn murmured, stroking a hand over Ahri's spine. "You look like a sad little puppy." To prove her point, she stroked Ahri's head next, tousling her hair until she whined.

"I didn't tell you to stop," Ahri said, with her forehead pressed to the pillows again.

"Hmm. No." Ahri flinched, tensing up again when Evelynn merely pressed the flat of her hands on her sore cheeks. Then two fingers spread her open, slick on her sex as they moved to frame her clit. "You didn't."

 

* * *

 

"The driver is late."

Two weeks later and the three of them were waiting outside of Ahri and Evelynn's house for their ride, each of them wearing thick black sunglasses. Evelynn was fairly smoldering, deeply incensed at the insult of needing to be driven somewhere.

"This is why I drive myself," she continued, as Kai'sa consolingly patted her arm.

Ahri felt for her, but it couldn't be helped. "This guy just likes a certain measure of control, which means he has his driver pick us up."

"And we need him because..."

"Because we need to start getting aggressive with our online advertising." Ahri checked her phone again, searching for an email from Akali that still hadn't come. She remained just out of reach, slipping through the cracks of Ahri's grasp. "We're going to start working on a few singles and by the time we're done, the stage will be set to receive us."

"A nice fluffy landing pad!" Kai'sa agreed.

"Hrmm." Evelynn crossed her arms, but didn't argue anymore, she Ahri counted it a success.

"Trust me, Evelynn," she said, typing out a quick tweet to her public account. "This is going to explode in a very big way."

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 _far more sweetsounding than a lyre_  
_golder than gold_

  
— from Anne Carson’s translation of Sappho’s fragments, entitled  _If Not, Winter_


	2. Akali/Ahri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please pretend the rap is good, and also in Korean. If it's bad, it's cause Akali is drunk, and not because I'm bad at writing raps.
> 
> S/O to midwesternduchess and her fic 'eyes on me' for the song title "foxfire" ... I thought it was cute and used it in this fic! 
> 
> did I edit this fic? no. did I have someone else beta it? also no. if you spot a wildass error/typos, let me know.
> 
> hope you enjoy!

 

Her nose never led her astray.

Akali followed the sharp burn of garlic and boiling stock, a late-night shop that catered to the drunks who came stumbling out after all the bars closed. She inhaled the street food, hot grease burning all the way down until it settled in her stomach like a cozy, lit coal. Then she called a taxi, stumbled into the backseat, and did her best not to pass out before she made it safely home.

The streetlights rushed over her closed eyelids. The scent of a hundred other passengers clung to the cheap leather seats, molding together into the caustic fake pine swinging from the rearview mirror. When Akali opened her eyes again, the taxi had rolled to a stop in front of her family's dojo, and the world blacked out for a second. Reality returned and she was standing in the dark kitchen, peering into the fridge and blinking at the light that poured out of the open door.

Then her uncle spoke. "Where have you been all night?"

Akali nearly blacked out again. A tower of side-dishes in plastic containers, neatly stacked, clattered onto the floor. One hand to her aching head, Akali knelt down and gathered them up and tried to put them away again. "Shit, Uncle Shen. I told you I'd be out late."

When she turned around with a glass of juice in her hand, it was to her uncle's disapproving stare. "Are you okay? You didn't answer my texts."

She nodded as she downed the glass in a few steady gulps, not pausing for air. "Mmmhmm." With a gasp, she finished and dropped the cup into the sink. Then, remembering she was raised right, she rinsed out the cup and put that away, too. "I'm fine. There was bad signal in the club."

"You said you were in a singing competition."

Akali closed her eyes. _Oh boy_. "It was a rap battle, Uncle Shen. I'm pretty sure I said it was a rap battle."

Akali swayed in place, blinking hard and focusing all her attention on not keeling over. For a moment her uncle seemed like he would just stand there in silence until the sun rose. By her estimation, that would be in about three hours.

Then he hummed. "Did you win?"

Relieved, Akali threw a pair of devil horns and winked. "Hell yeah I did!"

And then half the club bought her drinks, and she accepted a few too many of them. Dumb idea, probably. She was full of those. And piss and vinegar, or so her mom always said, whatever the fuck _that_ meant.

Uncle Shen's lips pursed. She couldn't get a good read on him, as usual, and couldn't tell if he was pleased or if he disapproved. Up until now she ran on the assumption that he supported her. He let her live here rent-free after she escaped that mess she left in Busan, and he, like... well didn't _not_ like approve. Right? Probably. He'd say something if he thought she were wasting her life on this.

Someone would say something.

(Someone _did_ say something.)

The kitchen spun. She managed a weak smile. "I'm gonna go to bed. Sorry for making you stay up so late."

"As long as you're safe," he said, voice growing more distant as she travelled to the far side of the house, to her old bedroom.

When she collapsed onto the bed, Akali stared at the ceiling until the world settled down. Restless now, too drunk to sleep, she rolled over onto her side. A massive sprawl of posters were plastered to the far wall, overlapping. They were like the layers of the earth, her oldest obsessions covered over and replaced and clamoring for space, from the ages of thirteen to nineteen.

She'd moved out and then moved right back in a few years later.

"How long am I gonna have to keep looking at your face?" she wondered at the collection of anime characters and popstars and actresses and swimsuit models. "You're probably tired of me, too."

Covering her face with one hand, she saw nothing but stars. They spun even as she stayed still, drowning in shallow, stagnant pools of darkness.

Thankfully she was able to sleep in the next day. Classes in the dojo didn't start until late afternoon, and she didn't work her other part-time job on Saturdays. Scraping herself from her mattress, Akali took a shower and got ready to assist her uncle with any other chores that needed doing.

He greeted her with few words, as always, and was kind enough to point her to this morning's breakfast still left in the fridge.

"Hey," she said, stirring cold rice around in her bowl and wondering if she should bother microwaving it. "Sorry again for last night."

The summer light streaming in through the open windows did little to lessen the shadows around Shen's face. "Do you think you did something worth apologizing for?"

Cryptic as ever. It was a genuine question, though, she could tell. Akali wasn't sure if that made things better or worse. Shen was her only living relative, and he hadn't been equipped to handle raising a moody, rebellious teen. Still, there was something nostalgic about his cool rationale, the way he never lost his temper even when she felt he had every right to. "I guess I just got a little sloppy. I'm embarrassed."

"Well," Uncle Shen said, "Now you know for next time."

He patted the back of her hand and Akali wolfed down her very late breakfast. That should have been the most eventful thing that happened that day.

But then she got an email.

 

* * *

 

 

Akali thought she might still be drunk. Standing in front of her, the three members of a band named "KDA" waited expectantly.

They'd broken down the deal in language she could understand. They told her they saw her music video, the one she recorded with her friends and her girlfriend, back when she still had both of those things.

Most of it went in one ear and right out the other. The whole time, Akali stared at Ahri as if she might vanish the next time she blinked.

_It's her. It's her. It's her._

There was enough adrenaline in her system to make her heart explode. Every inch of her wanted to leap this opportunity.

_She wants me. Foxy wants me to be their rapper._

But instead she wet her lips, mouth suddenly dry.

"I don't know if I can join you."

The reactions were mixed. Kai'sa visibly deflated, her shoulders dropping. Evelynn was unsurprised, her arms crossed and her expression blank.

"At least not yet," Akali clarified. "This is...a lot."

Ahri smiled sweetly, in a way that suggested she'd expected this as well.

"Of course. I'll be sending over a proper contract later tonight. Take your time reading it over," Ahri said, encouraging. She kept her hands over Akali's. The contact made her skin feel sticky, sweaty palms, hot summer air making the dojo stifling. "If you want a lawyer to go over it, too, that's totally fine."

A lawyer? Shit, she was just gonna take this to Uncle Shen and ask him what he thought. "Okay. Yeah, that's a good idea."

They said their goodbyes, apologizing for their unannounced arrival. Evelynn and Kai'sa left first, waving as they did. But Ahri lingered at the doorway, half-turned towards Akali as though something pulled her towards the other woman. Whatever that connection was, Ahri quickly severed it and then swept outside, her tightly-curled hair bouncing with every step.

Akali slid down to the floor right next to her training dummy, her hand still tingling from where Ahri touched it. Her  wooden kamas found their way into her grip instead, the grain warm on her palm. _That_ was still the same, even if everything else around her had dramatically changed. She could still smell Ahri everywhere, lingering on her own hand like she had folded herself into Akali's skin.

So she tried to ignore the contract for another hour, training to sweat the poison out of her system.

Then she assisted Shen with the lessons, and they cleaned up together.

He didn't ask about the three strange women who had come to visit her, and she didn't offer an explanation. Instead she holed herself up in her room and pored over the contact list in her phone, wondering who she could call. Desperate for some kind of confirmation and validation, her first instinct was to call her ex-girlfriend.

Her thumb hovered over the name.

Then she snapped her phone shut, staring at the ceiling again. There were stars, there, again. Faint because the glow-in-the-dark chemicals had long since expired or faded away. This was still a child's room. It was too small for her, in every sense. It was everything she tried to leave behind when she moved south to Busan.

 _What's holding me back?_ she wondered. _What could possibly be holding me back?_

 

* * *

 

 

It took hours to get to sleep, exhausted as she was. And so she woke up late again, stumbling downstairs to eat a cold breakfast before running to her part-time job. Then she came back home, changed her clothes, and helped Shen with lessons.

Shen had personally trained Akali, and she was qualified to teach and give lessons on her own, if she desired. But the idea of that— finding a new area to attract students, finding space to dole out those lessons,  slogging through more of the same for the rest of her life— made her so depressed she couldn't stand up straight.

It wasn't that she couldn't or didn't want to work hard. But it had to be towards something she actually liked.

_So why are you avoiding the contract in your inbox?_

Exhausted, she cleaned up alone. At the end of the week some of the older students would often offer to help, but most of the upkeep fell on her shoulders. Dusting, mopping, and sweeping were all a part of her post-workout routine at this point.

Except she wasn't alone.

Akali had lifted up one of the mats, nose wrinkling in distaste at a sticky mess underneath, probably a spilled sports drink that one of the younger students neglected to mention. Probably because there was a steep punishment for having food or drink near the mats.

Cursing, she let the mat drop and was about to get up to her feet and find the mop.

[In front of her were a pair of smooth, long legs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xa7enZCvies).

Sitting back on her heels, Akali looked up, and up, and up, to a scandalously short skirt and a manicured hand waving only with the fingertips.

"Hi," Evelynn said, finally drawing her attention higher to a pair of mirrored sunglasses. She saw her own reflection in them, on her knees, frowning tightly. "You're very focused, aren't you? I've been here for a while."

"I get lost in thought a lot." Akali stood up but that did little to lessen the distance between them. "Thank you for removing your shoes before coming inside," she grumbled, irrationally wishing she had her own boots on. They added a much-needed boost to her height and her confidence.

Evelynn's lips quirked in a smile, as if she knew what Akali was really trying to say. "Of course. I'm not an animal."

The resulting silence was horrifically awkward, but Evelynn seemed to relish in it. It didn't permeate her confident aura at all. Akali was left wondering what, if anything, could.

"If you're here for lessons, the last one ended a while ago." Akali thumbed over to the clock on the wall. "You'll have to come back tomorrow."

"Is the first hit free?" Evelynn asked. Fist on her hip, she glanced about the main floor. "I think your little dojo is just _darling_ , so I'd be tempted to try and learn."

"I saw the video of your scrape with that photographer," Akali said, unable to resist rising to the obvious bait. She smirked. "You definitely could use some guidance."

That video and the resulting viral imagery was the first time Akali had ever heard of Evelynn, actually. Akali saw a furious, beautiful woman covered in blood and that kind of _did it_ for her. Of course she was taking that truth to her grave. She respected Evelynn too much as an artist to ever admit she liked her for anything other than her music.

And. You know. Evelynn was married. That was kind of important too.

" _Really_ now." Evelynn's brows rose, lips parting with interest. "Got any pointers?"

"Sure. Here's some free advice." She reached up and sharply tapped Evelynn right on the center of her forehead. "Don't lead with your head."

For a second she wondered if she'd crossed a line. It was hard to tell what Evelynn was thinking what with those thick sunglasses she always wore, even indoors. As if reading her mind, Evelynn took them off.

It immediately closed some of the distance between them, made Evelynn seem much more human as the corners of her eyes crinkled in mirth. "Oh, I like you."

"Could've fooled me." Akali crossed her arms tightly, thumbs tucked against her chest. "Now, can you tell me why you're here? I haven't signed the KDA contract yet."

Tucking her shades into her blouse pocket, Evelynn produced a phone from her purse. "Kai'sa sent me to invite you over for dinner," she said, tapping something out on the screen. "She wants to know if you're allergic to anything or if you're a vegetarian, et cetera, et cetera."

"No, I don't, uh. I don't have anything like that. I mean I'm lactose intolerant but that's never stopped me before." Akali hesitated as Evelynn handed her phone over, expectant. "What?"

"Your number," Evelynn explained. "I didn't get a chance to grab it last time."

A little irritated at the memory, Akali swiped the phone and started plugging in her information. "Because you were too busy begging for your teeth to be knocked in."

"Well, maybe you shouldn't be swinging swords around with your headphones on at full volume. You'll ruin your hearing that way, you know."

"Well, maybe _you_ should mind your own business."

"Sweetheart," Evelynn said, really sounding like she meant the word. "If you sign that contract, every part of your body might soon become my business."

Her thumbs paused over the keyboard as Akali looked up at her.

"If," she responded, and then hit enter.

This isn't what she expected when she made that video. She'd gotten millions of views on _The Tower,_ and the traffic spilled over to her online store. People didn't just like her, they were spending money on her. It wasn't a lot of money in the grand scheme of the music industry of course, but she'd been able to pay off her credit card bills with that revenue alone. That was something, to Akali.

(Why wasn't it enough for her girlfriend?)

"So what's next?" Evelynn asked her, returning her to reality again. She really needed to stop spacing out when people were talking to her. " _If_ you're so confident you decide not to sign with us."

She rolled her eyes, but Akali was smiling. Who knew someone as powerful and famous as Evelynn could be so easy to needle?

"I'm doing what I did before." Akali sensed the change in the conversation, the way she noticed when a sparring partner shifted their weight, making them easier to throw. Self-assured now, she excitedly shared her plans with Evelynn. "Making my own music and posting it online. Getting known in the local scene."

Evelynn started toying with her necklace, long and gold with a rectangular charm hanging low on her chest. "And?"

Sweat burned into her eyes, reality marching around around her. She was still grimy from practice and there were still chores to be done, but she didn't want to attend to any of them yet. Pulling up her shirt, she mopped her face with the hem, shrugging. "I'm working in a music store nearby. I don't have a lot of physical merch but they agreed to sell it there, plus I have an online store." She couldn't help but puff up a little. "We got a lot of hits after my last video!"

Evelynn's thumb rested over her lips, fingers wrapped thoughtfully around her chin. Her teeth occasionally worried the nail like she was trying very hard not to interrupt Akali. Just when it looked like she was about to burst, she licked the pad, reached out, and dragged it over Akali's bare stomach.

"Yo!" Akali slapped her hand away, jumping back a step and letting her shirt drop. "Personal space?"

Evelynn laughed. "Sorry. I needed to know if the abs were spray painted on."

"Well, they're real. I work very hard on them." Self-conscious now, she covered her stomach with both hands. "And now I'm having second thoughts about having dinner at your place."

"No you're not," Evelynn said.

She didn't say anything else. Not for a while. Not until the silence was unbearably uncomfortable.

Evelynn put her on edge again, effortlessly. The balance had shifted; Akali wasn't in control of where it went anymore. Evelynn made her feel like at any given moment she was one wrong move away from being turned into a stylish leather belt. That was alarming enough on its own, but the worst part was Akali didn't entirely dislike the sensation.

"Kai'sa is an excellent cook. It's your loss if you decide not to come." Evelynn lifted her shoulders in a shrug. Her fingers found the necklace again, thumb stroking over the flat gold charm. "I know my wife will be _so_ disappointed, she really wanted to have a proper conversation with you."

Her wife, Foxy— Ahri. One of the biggest names in kpop, if not the biggest. Akali thought back to their first brief meeting, the way Ahri hesitated after the others left, like there was something more she wanted to say. The way the scent of her clung to Akali's hand.

What did someone like her want with someone like Akali?

It lingered in her head long after Evelynn left, long after she should have fallen asleep.

That night she lay in bed, awake, again. The stars surrounding her shone little illumination on her predicament, and her quiet cell phone had no answers, either. Even though she knew it wouldn't do her any good, she went through her photo albums. After assaulting herself with years of memories among people she didn't like anymore, she finally jumped to one she had saved on every social media so that she'd never lose it.

In the photo she is fourteen years old. Her nose red, a faint trace of blood smeared on the back of her hand. Grinning like a wild thing despite the injury, because one arm was looped around Ahri's waist and the other was throwing a peace sign.

That was eight years ago. Ahri would have been twenty one years old.

 _She doesn't remember me,_ Akali reminded herself, not with any bitterness. Just faint nostalgia, and a tinge of sadness. The vast gap between their experience, their clout, yawned up larger than ever. _Of course she doesn't. Why would she?_

Ahri was a god, shaping the industry since she was fourteen herself. Setting trends, selling records, making deals, shipping products, wrapping everyone around her pinkie finger. She was a force of nature and Akali was... a soundcloud rapper.

She scrolled a little bit, going over her twitter feed, and then back to her sparse contact list.

Evelynn's name was near the top.

Turning it off, she rolled onto her side and tried to fall asleep.

 

* * *

 

 

When the time came for her to get ready, Akali realized she'd overlooked one very important detail: there was no guide for what to wear when dining with pop stars. She tore through her closet, tossing clothes over her shoulders. All of her stuff was decidedly casual, especially since she had to toss most of her possessions after moving out of her girlfriend's apartment. Relocating to Busan was not a simple task, and coming back had not been any easier.

The point being, she couldn't show up to a meeting with Foxy— with Ahri— with KDA in a hoodie and her ratty old jeans. But that was pretty much all she owned.

There was one solution, but it burned her to admit it. Some part of her resented the idea of asking Evelynn for any advice, but she decided to swallow her pride early rather than face embarrassment later.

**should i dress up?**

**its just going to be us 4, right?**

**this isn't a fancy celebrity thing, is it?**

Evelynn quickly texted her back. _ahri is still in her pajamas so honestly wear whatever you want_

"Oh?" Akali said, staring down at her phone. That was a relief...unless Evelynn was lying. If Akali showed up, the only person in casual clothing, she wouldn't need to worry about signing that contract. Ahri would just laugh her out of existence.

Unbidden, one of Ahri's older music videos came to mind. She doubted Ahri really wore lacy see-through lingerie to bed, nobody could be that extra 24/7. But the mental image had her blushing until she forced it down.

In a rush, she went out and bought a nicer top and new jeans, tighter and pricier than she normally went for. But after wrangling her hair into submission and putting on eyeliner, she thought she looked like a passable girl.

Soon it was time. Ahri and Evelynn had rented an entire house, it looked like, with a gate that needed to buzz her in. Walking to the front door, Akali steeled herself to knock when it flew open and that ridiculously tall, hot white lady stood in front of her. It took a moment to recognize her, because Akali distinctly remembered that she had black hair, but today it was platinum blonde.

"Akali! I'm so glad you made it," she said, speaking in surprisingly good Korean. "Come on inside, I hope it wasn't too long a trip."

"It was fine." Instinct made her throw a peace sign. "Kai'sa, right?"

"Mhmm! Don't wear it out!"

Kai'sa had an unusual gait, so light on her feet Akali thought she might float away. She led Akali further inside after letting her take off her shoes, and the scent of sizzling garlic, onion, fatty meat. Her stomach roared, and Akali found herself fidgeting with the bag in her hand.

"Aw," Kai'sa said when Akali revealed a small boxed cake. "You brought dessert?"

"Since you were making dinner..." Akali trailed off with a grin, glad she was pleased by the offering. She'd honestly been torn between this and a bottle or two of soju. But she read on some gossip sites that Evelynn didn't like to drink much after her very public struggle with substance abuse, that Ahri preferred expensive Italian wine way out of her price range, and Kai'sa...

A little guilty, Akali realized she knew next to nothing about the third member of the band.

"Well, I would've been happy to make dessert, too!" Kai'sa said, sounding so genuinely joyful at the idea, and smiling so broadly, that Akali's heart _fluttered_.

It figured that a potential pop star was beautiful to an unearthly degree, but Kai'sa was striking in a way Akali wasn't accustomed to. It didn't hurt that her accent was kinda cute, too.

"Noted." Akali forced herself not to stare, looking around the empty kitchen. "Did Ahri and Evelynn bail?"

Kai'sa waved the idea way with a laugh. "They're out getting the dye."

At first she thought she might have misheard. Her face must have betrayed her confusion, because Kai'sa went on. "They didn't tell you?" Thoughtful, she lifted a hand to her hair, fingering through the pale lengths. "I gave myself a few days to think about it, but...phase two begins tonight. I'm in a very blue state of mind lately and it keeps showing up in all my paintings, so I'm dyeing my hair blue to see if that'll get it out of my system."

Akali wished she'd brought a hoodie after all, because now without the cake, she didn't know what to do with her hands. She kept instinctively rolling them over her stomach, seeking the comfort of a kangaroo pouch that wasn't there. "Um. Do I have to do that, too?"

After giving Akali a careful look, a frustrated sigh escaped Kai'sa. "Evelynn _did_ tell you this would be just a normal hang out and not an audition, right? I told her to tell you but now I'm not sure she listened."

"Isn't it, though?" When Kai'sa made a curious noise in response, Akali shrugged. "If it turns out we can't stand being in the same room together for a few hours, it's better to learn that now rather than later."

Reluctant to admit it, Kai'sa inhaled quickly like she was about to disagree. Then she paused, thinking about it, coiling a strand of blonde hair around her index finger. "I _guess_ ," she said after a moment.

Then she leaned down, all the way down to whisper into Akali's ear. A long sheet of blonde hair almost smacked her in the face, the sharp scent of citrus and sweet candy overwhelming, this close.

"But just between you and me," Kai'sa said, "I think they're already in love with you."

A million thoughts exploded like fireworks, each trailing off in wildly different directions. Primarily _hhhh girl hot_ and _she smells so good am I creepy for sniffing her?_ and _I might actually be too gay to hang around pop stars,_ but most pressingly, _in love with me? what, like with my music?_

There was no immediate answer to any of those thoughts, because the front door swung open and Ahri launched herself inside, landing with flair. "We made it back!" she shouted in triumph, posed like a magical girl as a bunch of plastic bags swung from her arms. "The journey was long, but—"

Her knees went a weird way when she realized Kai'sa was not alone, twisting inward and bending slightly.

"Oh!" Ahri fumbled. "Akali is here. Hi, Akali!"

Akali's eyes swept over Ahri once, up and down, drinking her in. A white dress with cherry patterns on it, and a matching set of cherry-red bangles. She hadn't really expected to see Ahri in her pajamas, but the pop star very clearly wasn't wearing makeup or any product in her hair. This really was a casual hangout.

Evelynn slid in past Ahri, carrying a few more bags. She spared Akali a single glance before focusing on Kai'sa. "I told you to text us."

Straightening out, Kai'sa hid her hands behind her back, singing her response. "Sorrreeeee. But she literally just got here!"

"Well." Setting the bags down, Evelynn pulled off her sunglasses. She played with one of the legs, working it back and forth on its hinge. "That's good."

Before her brain could catch up, her smart mouth was already moving. "Worried I'd get bored waiting for you?"

"You do seem easily distracted," Evelynn shot back, going through the bags. It looked as though she and Ahri had also made a short grocery trip. She started putting things away, with Kai'sa fluttering at her side no matter which way she turned.

"Did you bring the—"

A bottle of soy sauce appeared on the counter.

"Nice! Thank you, Eve. And also did you—"

Evelynn set a green onion stalk down on the cutting board.

"Perfect! How about—"

Evelynn wordlessly produced one bottle of peach soju from her bag and set it in Kai'sa's palms.

"Eeeeeve! You're the best!" She did a happy little shimmy before throwing her arms around Evelynn's neck. It forced Evelynn a few steps back, but she quickly recovered to return the hug, squeezing her tight.

"Of course baby. I know what you need."

Slipping out of Evelynn's arms with a twirl, Kai'sa chopped up the onion and set it in a small dipping bowl with the soy sauce.

"Everyone sit!" she ordered, wiping her hands off on a hand towel and getting the rest of the ingredients together. "The grill's all set up, I have the tea brewed, and I already tried the pork and it's soooo good. I marinated it all day!"

Akali was hustled over to the personal grill and a low table that Kai'sa proceeded to completely cover in bowls of purple rice, dipping sauces, finely sliced garlic and onions, fatty pork belly, mushrooms, an entire rainbow assortment of banchan, and fresh leafy vegetables to wrap it all in. The table groaned under the weight.

"Uh..." Akali blinked, and in the next instant a shot glass of soju was in her hands. When she looked up, she saw Ahri and Evelynn were seated across from her, and Kai'sa slipped in at her right side after serving them tea. "Wow."

"Told you," Evelynn said, smiling smugly.

They served themselves. Ahri stuck mostly to vegetables, only making an exception when Evelynn wrapped a slice of pork in a perilla leaf and fed it to her so casually that this must be a common occurrence. Akali did her best not to stare, focusing all her attention on Kai'sa instead of the woman sitting across from her, the woman she'd had a crush on for most of her young adult life.

"So how long have you been living in Korea?" she asked, pouring Kai'sa another drink.

Kai'sa sat back a little, frowning. "Mmm. A few weeks? Months?" Making a few kissy noises to get Evelynn's attention, Kai'sa grinned. "Eve, how long have I been here?"

"At least four months," Evelynn said. Her hand was at her throat again, playing with her necklace. "A little bit before Ahri wanted KDA to be a thing."

As they chattered and ate, Ahri pushed aside her half-full plate and retrieved the hair dye. "Scoot," she said, and settled comfortably behind Kai'sa to start working on her hair.

"Aw, Ahri, you hardly even touched your—"

"I'm fine." Ahri didn't let her complete the sentence. "If we start now, we'll be almost done by the time you've finished dessert. And I'll eat that too. Promise."

A little exchange happened, wordless: Kai'sa hummed in suspicion. Ahri smirked, reached down, and gave Kai'sa's ear a tug. Whatever understanding occurred, Ahri got her way, and soon Kai'sa's head was entirely wrapped in tin foil.

"Ugh, that stuff stinks." Evelynn wrinkled her nose. "Do you have to do it at the dinner table? We have a guest."

"Don't mind me," Akali said, picking a mushroom and a roasted slice of garlic off the grill. "I'm not gonna complain when you keep me this well-fed."

"And just think." Kai'sa's eyes twinkled. "If you sign on with us, I'll cook for you whenever you like."

The soju had her tongue even more loose than usual. "Oh, so you're offering bribes, now. How desperately do you want me?"

Kai'sa's mouth popped open in shock. Then she laughed, reaching over and slapping Akali lightly on the shoulder. "Cockyyyy! Okay!" she said in English, before swapping back to Korean. "You know, you rap really good, but can you actually sing?"

Akali jerked a thumb towards the front entrance. "There's a noraebang fifteen minutes that way if you want to find out."

"Fuck that," Evelynn said, getting up from the table. For a second Akali again wondered if she'd crossed a line. The woman was just terrifying sometimes, everything about her so intense. Her goosebumps settled as Evelynn merely went over to the tv, and dragged a tiny black box over to it. "We've got everything we need right here."

Then a microphone was dropped into her hands.

"Sing something," Evelynn said, eyes blazing over the lens of her sunglasses.

Akali looked askance at Kai'sa. "So this _is_ an audition."

"I guess it is, now." Kai'sa shrugged, the tinfoil in her hair wrinkling and making noise with every tilt of her head.

When she got up to her feet, the world spun a little. Such was the danger of drinking while sitting down. She and Evelynn inspected the black box, and after a quick internet search, Akali learned it was a personal noraebang machine.

(The first result put its cost at ₩3,000,000. Akali quickly banished any thoughts of getting one for her room.)

"How do you work this thing," Akali grumbled, fiddling with it in vain.

Ahri had been watching them all quietly, her arms crossed. She seemed interested in how the cards would fall, neither approving nor disapproving. But when the three of them struggled to work the machine, she decided to intervene. Sighing, Ahri shooed them away and took over, pulling up a list of songs for Akali to choose from.

"You know, you've got a surprisingly cute voice," she murmured. "It's higher than the last rapper I worked with. Very distinct."

Sharply, Akali realized this was the first thing Ahri had directly said to her since she entered the house. Not sure what to make of that, she scrolled through the list, focused intently on finding something that would make her look good. After a moment though, she landed on some older pop songs, and a devilish spirit overtook her. "How about this one?"

Ahri gasped. "No!"

"Oh, _yes_ ," Evelynn said, and hit play. Her wife wailed and covered her face with both hands as a sparkling, youthful techno beat popped out. Ahri's unmistakable voice started chirping and crooning to them.

Laughing, Akali jumped in the distinct dance for _Foxfire_ , one of Ahri's earliest singles. Kai'sa joined in; it was almost impossible not to. Nearly every station in the world featured the video for it. If you didn't know the Foxy dance, you were a reclusive weirdo.

It helped that the chorus was... pretty easy to memorize.

 _I am a fox, I am a fox,_  
_I am a fox, I am a fox,_  
_I am a fox, I am a fox,_  
_I am a fox, I am a fox,_  
_I am a fox, I am a fox,_ _  
_ I am a fox, I am a fox.

When the song was over, Kai'sa and Akali were both breathless with laughter, leaning heavily on each other. Even Evelynn couldn't hide her smile. Though she'd wanted a serious display of Akali's talents, she couldn't resist a little fun. Meanwhile, her wife was as red as a cherry tomato.

"Oh, she thinks she's funny," she said, voice surprisingly icy.

"No, I'm hysterical," Akali responded, finally feeling at ease.

Tutting, Evelynn drew Ahri into her arms, holding her and rubbing her nose into Ahri's hair. "Don't be mad, gumiho. It's my fault, I selected the song."

"I'm not mad, I'm embarrassed!" she said, voice muffled by Evelynn's chest. "Just because you did that, Akali has to sing one of your least favorite songs now!"

One of their phones starting beeping, a timer going off. "Hold that thought," Kai'sa said, rushing away. "I need to wash this dye out. Don't start without me! I want to hear Akali sing for real!"

Evelynn followed her movements with a smirk, eyes tracking Kai'sa until she was gone. "...Yep, you won her over."

"Well, Kai'sa has a hard time resisting a woman who can dance," Ahri mused.

Still flush from drinking and dancing, Akali's face grew even warmer. The bizarreness of this situation probably didn't help. Here she was, trying to impress a goddess of pop and a reclusive musical icon, the stars of their industry. And one very cute, very tall girl that she still knew nothing about. "She uh. She likes to dance, huh?"

"She loves to dance," Ahri corrected her, pulling out her phone. She was smiling brightly now that the subject of the conversation had changed, twisting with excitement. "Have you seen the stuff she was doing at her old studio? It's insane, watch this."

Eager and curious, Akali waited while Ahri searched for the right video. The music started, and a few other dancers from the studio gave their performances. Each of them worked slightly different choreography to the same song. Most were decidedly provocative. Akali's English was a little rusty, but the language barrier didn't matter much when the dancers made it clear what the lyrics conveyed.

Then Kai'sa slinked onto the screen, [naked except for scraps of leather and flannel and thigh high heels](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnwLh6CWdUY). 

Akali spent the next solid minute screaming internally as she watched Kai'sa crawl across the floor, her teeth bared in what could have been a furious snarl or a helpless grimace of ecstasy. More than sex appeal, Kai'sa projected nothing but unbridled hunger, head clutched in her hands as she lay on her back, hips arched. Each kick of stiletto heels felt like a strike to Akali's core. Sweat was flying from Kai'sa's silver hair as she tossed it wildly, and touched her straining torso, fingers dancing over her ribs and toned stomach. It was combative, demanding, voracious, and lithe, and...

"God, I love this one," Evelynn said, longingly. "But it's not her best! This one is... _blunter_ than Kai'sa tends to be."

"Okay," Ahri said, "So which one is her best?"

"The one that was so sad it almost made me cry?"

Ahri's eyes widened. "Oooh. Okay, well, unless you want to cry in front of Akali..."

Evelynn thought about it. She twisted the gold necklace, fiddling with the golden charm. When she made up her mind, she pulled up another video. "This one is more typical Kai'sa."

"Mmm," Akali squeaked, because she knew if she remained dead quiet they'd suspect she was about to combust. Thankfully the next video was significantly tamer. Kai'sa had black hair again, coiled up in cute buns. A familiar pop song bounced in the background while Kai'sa danced, [clearly having the time of her life](https://youtu.be/zslNTqK7iAA). 

Strutting confidently, she displayed more of the Kai'sa they had seen at dinner. Cheeky and sweet and just a little flirty. They went through a few more videos, each one increasingly impressive. Akali's personal favorite was the one that was almost entirely splits and painful-looking contortions. She didn't even know the human body could bend that way.

"Hey!" Kai'sa said when she returned. The dye had taken well; her hair shone, bright blue like cotton candy. Toweling off some excess water from her ear, she beamed at them. "Are you showing Akali my old dance stuff? Did you show her the fire-dancing one? Oh! Did you show her the really _slutty_ one?"

"That's the first one I showed her." Ahri grinned.

Kai'sa made a fist. "Nice. That one's my favorite."

"But it's not your _best!"_ Evelynn insisted, distressed this time.

Paying her no heed, Kai'sa strode up to Akali and pushed the microphone back into her hands. "Okay, Miss Akali," she said. "It's time. Pick a Siren song that Evelynn hates."

"That will be very difficult to find," Evelynn said, "Because I don't publish anything I don't love."

Ahri rolled her eyes, surprising Akali with a little childish mimicry. " _I don't publish anything I don't love_ ," Ahri said, opening and closing her hand like a little mouth.

"I don't," Evelynn replied coolly.

"How about _Agony's Embrace_?" When Evelynn responded with just a quirked brow, Akali shrugged. "It's stuck in my head. Sue me."

She pressed play, swaying, and immediately realized her mistake. Evelynn's voice was perfectly suited for her own song, obviously... and the two of them couldn't sound more different. While Akali did her best to keep up, she croaked on one or two notes. She didn't much care to copy Evelynn, but if she was supposed to be showing off her strengths, this wasn't the song to do it with.

She made up for it by dancing, or so she hoped. As talented as she knew Kai'sa and the others to be, Akali doubted they knew any hat tricks. So she popped off her snapback, rolling it over her chest in exaggerated, locked movements. She even managed to bounce it from her knee to her foot and back again.

Whirling around, she winked at her audience, setting the cap back on her head.

Sensing the challenge, Kai'sa stepped forward and yanked Akali's hat off with her teeth. Clutching the bill, she flipped it and caught it by the bill again before letting it drop to her knee, then her foot, then she kicked it back up. The hat soared through the air, spinning over Kai'sa's head and down her back, where she hooked onto it with her toes.

Kicking back, she launched the hat into the air once more, and it landed, lopsided, on her crown.

Akali forgot all about the song.

"What!?" she screamed, clutching her own head in shock. "How did you _do_ that?! That was incredible, oh my god! Keep the hat, just keep it! It's yours now! Take everything I own!"

"Kai'sa," Ahri and Evelynn said at the same time, with twin expressions of annoyance.

"Stop being a showoff and let Akali sing," Evelynn added.

"Sorrreeeee," she sang, not looking sorry at all.

But after that, it was impossible for Akali to get her head back in the game. "I'm not a very strong singer," she admitted. "I can carry a tune and harmonize alright, but I'm not gonna have any solos anytime soon."

"Don't be so sure of that," Ahri said. "You're very talented. And we can coach you."

Grabbing her by the arm, Kai'sa gave her a friendly little shake. "And what's really in your heart is rapping and dancing and writing lyrics, right? That's why we want you, and that's what you're good at!"

Something about the unadulterated praise made her want to provide a counterweight. She wasn't used to this much positive attention. "I mostly freestyle—"

"Then freestyle for us," Evelynn said.

The more they talked, the more real this felt. Akali was swept up in it, excitedly clutching Kai'sa's hand when it rested over hers. "...Okay!"

[The song was still playing, nearing the end](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En5TDpi17-k). And the instrumentals behind _Agony's Embrace_ poured over her, familiar as a friend. She'd been listening to this song nonstop for weeks, actually, so she had a good sense for the beat and where she wanted to enter in.  

Except she was still a little tipsy ( _Shit. Shit.)_ and didn't know what she was going to say and other women were all so hot and cool ( _ice_ ) and talented ( _gold_ ) and Foxy was so perfect ( _like a diamond_ ), even without heavy makeup ( _glitter_ ), maybe even especially without it ( _diamonds are ice and snow glitters in the light_ ). Akali found herself staring at at her, too focused to worry about anything except the words bouncing in her head ( _cold but I spit fire_ ).

...What rhymed with glitter?

She took a deep breath, running on instinct and years of writing, the rhymes forming from muscle memory, ideas linked together on the fly.

 

 _Rhyming I'm a spitter,_  
_Til I'm winding up to hit 'er_  
_Turn her round and sit her bottom line on something mined that glitters,_  
_Diamonds, Ice bitter cold, so nice with the flow_  
_But Aka's lit, don't you know?_  
_Steel nerve, inflexible_  
_That's hard rock_  
_Louder than a gun cocked_  
_On velvet fur or soft locks_  
_That's why we need a stone fox_  
_Because she likes it on top_  
_Clapping like a beat keep it nonstop_ _  
KDA gon' bring the heat BECAUSE WE GOT THIS ON LOCK!_

 

The song kept going, but Akali was finished. Shouting, Ahri and Kai'sa both pounced on her in an excited hug pile, praising her impromptu rap. She didn't think it was her best or even very good, and she thought Evelynn might tell her as much.

Instead, the song wound down into chatter and laughter, until Evelynn picked another song, taking her turn at the mic.

It was perfect. It was absolutely perfect.

 

* * *

 

 

Akali woke up on the couch, throat a little sore and eyes glued shut. It took her a second to remember where she was, staring up at the ceiling and not seeing the glow in the dark stars. She hadn't even realized she'd fallen asleep.

Someone had draped their jacket over her in the middle of the night. Closing her eyes again, Akali snuggled into it, inhaling deeply. It smelled distinctly like sweet wet leather, chocolate. Layered in there, bitter undertones of something sharp and woodsy, like pine. She wondered whose jacket it was. She hoped it was Ahri's.

Unexpectedly, her body ached. The thought of Ahri on her, surrounding her, holding her, sent a bolt of heat right to Akali's clit.

Damn it.

Getting up, she couldn't resist shrugging the jacket on. A glance outside the window confirmed it was still dark outside. Just as she wondered if it would be more rude to leave or stay, she heard a voice.

"I'm sorry," Ahri said, "Did I wake you?"

Spooked enough that her skin rippled with gooseflesh, Akali didn't answer at first. Deep in the shadows of the hallway, near the kitchen, Ahri was half-obscured. "No."

Ahri stepped a little closer just as the sun started rising more, the room lightening bit by bit. She was smiling, hair messily piled on top of her head, and Akali learned she was the type who wore long shirts to bed. When she reached up to stretch, the hem lifted up, revealing a flash of bright red shorts underneath.

When Akali tore her eyes away back to Ahri's face, hoping she hadn't been staring too hard, she found Ahri grinning knowingly.

"Nice jacket."

She immediately began to shrug out of it. "Sorry, it was on me when I woke up."

"No, no, no." Ahri stopped her, fingertips brushing against her bared shoulder. Again her skin prickled, flesh rising to the touch the way flowers opened to the sun rising. "It looks good on you." She thought a moment. "Keep it."

The white leather settled comfortably back around her. Akali shoved her hands into the pockets, unable to resist beaming at Ahri. "Okay, but no take-backs."

"Heh. You're cute, Akali. I wish I'd met you sooner."

 _You did,_ Akali wanted to say, but she bit it back.

Ahri stretched again, rubbing her face before she started fiddling with the coffee maker. "You drink coffee?"

Sometimes her ex had it with dessert, if it was very, very sweet. But Akali was mystified that anyone actually needed it to get their day going. "Never liked it."

"Never start. It's unhealthy." Ahri tapped out the grounds, still yawning sleepily. "The only thing it's good for is summoning wayward spirits. Do you want to see a magic trick?"

When Akali nodded, Ahri giggled and flicked on the machine. It bubbled, hissing. The bitter scent rose up, and soon enough Evelynn and Kai'sa were at the kitchen table, both of them on the verge of passing out as they waited for their wake-up juice.

"Oh," Evelynn drawled. "The meme girl is still here."

Kai'sa whacked her on the shoulder, hard enough that Evelynn actually flinched. "Be nice!"

Evelynn slumped further onto the table, rubbing her bruised skin. Then her tongue flashed as it clicked against straight white teeth, and Evelynn let loose a string of grinning Mandarin so fast and so saucy that Akali wasn't sure she wanted a translation. That suspicion was only confirmed when Kai'sa turned bright red. She unleashed a flurry of slaps to Evelynn's shoulder, snapping back an impassioned response.

"There's no need to bring my ancestors into this," Evelynn said, drawing herself up, regal and self-important.

"There's only so many ways I can curse _you_ out, specifically," Kai'sa huffed back.

"Well that just makes you uncreative."

Their bickering became very physical, ending with Evelynn's neck trapped in the crook of Kai'sa's arm, both of them complaining loudly. Akali watched, fascinated, as Ahri just served them both a cup of coffee as if she saw this every morning.

(She probably did.)

"Come on, Akali." Ahri vanished, returning in a summer dress and a sunhat, waving for her to follow. "I'll drive you home. These two are obviously unfit for polite company right now."

"I'm not sure caffeine will help," Akali joked as she followed her.

The other two didn't even acknowledge them leaving, too wrapped up in their argument. Ahri let Akali out first, and so she had just enough view to see them still bickering. But as the door shut, Akali swore she saw Kai'sa lean in close, her long hair obscuring their faces.

Ahri locked the front door, eyes glued to her cellphone. She shot off a few quick text messages before smiling up at Akali. "You good?"

"Uh." Akali thought she might still be sleepy. Seeing things. "Yes, I'm fine. I can just take the bus."

The other woman dismissed the idea, car keys jingling. "It'll be faster if I take you." Her lips curled in a smile, and damn it, the only way to describe it was vulpine. "Besides, this way I get to spend more time with you."

Despite that, the car ride was mostly silent. Akali remained distracted by the memory of Kai'sa and Evelynn, how close they had been sitting. How comfortable Evelynn's hand was on Kai'sa's lap, and the things they had said to each other last night. She wondered what their relationship was. She wondered how she could ask.

Instead, she blurted out, "So what's the deal with you guys?"

Ahri kept her eyes on the road. "Hmm?"

"I don't know. It just seems weird, I guess. None of us are typical kpop fare."

"We're misfits," Ahri said after only a moment of deliberation.

Akali shifted uncomfortably, remembering what Evelynn had called her. "Is that why you want me?"

Beside her, Ahri let out a low, sudden breath. "Yes."

Akali glanced at her.

"I think you're a good fit for us," Ahri clarified. "Akali, I'm sorry if I was a little cagey last night, and still acting a little strange now. It's just, you make me nervous."

She made her nervous? She didn't even know the famous Foxy could _be_ nervous. Now she knew was staring, and nothing could make her stop. But rather than be entranced by Ahri's profile, by the golden glitter of her loose hair, Akali wasn't sure who she was looking at. "That explains why you barely talked to me last night."

Ahri grimaced. "So you noticed."

"I'm smarter than I think you or your wife give me credit for, yeah." There went her mouth again, always getting her in trouble. Familiarity breeds contempt as they say, and Akali couldn't keep a respectful tone in her voice if she was comfortable with someone. Shockingly enough, it earned her few friends.

She glowered out the window, trying not to be mad at herself and failing. "Look, you don't have to be nervous around me. I'm just a nobody. And you, you're." Where could she even start with Ahri, this perfectly sculpted figure from her earliest fantasies, her most vivid dreams? She'd been chasing after Ahri's shadow her whole life. "You're a god. You don't need me."

All too soon they arrived at Akali's place. The dojo, and Shen's home attached to it. Turning to her, Ahri's smile and casual demeanor dropped entirely. For once, she was deadly serious. "When I was growing up there were a hundred girls who could have eagerly taken my place, and fucked the producer for the opportunity."

Startled by her blunt words, Akali leaned in to let Ahri know she was listening.

"I work very hard, but the truth is I am also just extraordinarily _lucky_." Ahri waited, taking care with how she chose her words. "More of this industry boils down to chance than anyone wants to admit."

The car idled, a low rumble. Akali wasn't sure what she should say, or if Ahri was even done talking. Ahri didn't seem sure either, struggling with something Akali couldn't begin to understand, and then she sighed.

"What I'm trying to say is, I'm not perfect, and you're not a nobody," Ahri said. "I don't want you to join KDA if you think that. And if this is about _need_ , then we need you a hell of a lot more than you need us."

"Me?" Akali repeated the only part she could clearly understand.

"Yes, Akali. You. Everything about you. You're real. You're hungry for what you haven't had a taste of yet." But Ahri was the one who seemed ravenous just then, something almost desperate trying to claw its way out of her stoic expression. The distance between them shrank, the brim of Ahri's hat knocking on Akali's forehead. "We've been too well-fed for too long."

_I don't want you to join KDA if you think that._

Want.

She didn't know if she wanted to join KDA. Or if there was even anything she wanted, anymore. Akali had been floating aimlessly for months now, and suddenly there were too many paths and she wasn't prepared for any of them.

Want.

Ahri's eyes dropped down to Akali's mouth, and she licked her lips.

She knew exactly what she wanted.

There wasn't any resistance, and barely any space left between them when they kissed. She wasn't even sure which of them had broken the air with that final movement. Ahri slipped her hat off, getting it out of the way, her hand shifting from the wheel to Akali's lap. She didn't know when that had happened, either. The only thing she knew was a pleasure so keen it could almost be called agony. It burned white hot over the split in her brain, no right or left hemisphere, all animal instinct, a hungry little reptile wriggling towards the heat of the sun.

Sparks flew, just like all the songs said they would. She saw nothing but blazing light behind her closed eyelids, disbelief making her body numb until Ahri touched her and brought her to life again.

Her hand immediately went for Ahri's breast, palming her over her dress and then under it. She'd always been fast, liked to go for the kill. Akali didn't care about the car motor still running or the broad daylight outside or that anyone could see them. She wanted flesh in her hands and she wasn't going to wait. Nimble fingers found Ahri's nipple, rolling it greedily until it was stiff enough to pinch.

"Oh, god," Ahri whimpered, sounding tormented, confused.

Akali pulled back sharply, hand over her mouth. It was still warm. It still smelled like Ahri.

She finally got a good grasp on what that was: roses thick on the back of her throat, heavy florals, and something base, something animal and thick as blood on her tongue.

On the other side of the car, pressed against the driver door, Ahri didn't fix the strap on her dress or her half-exposed chest, pink nipple still pert and swollen like it wanted more attention. Ahri's cheeks flushed, with embarrassment and with the heat still dripping from her gaze.

Then clarity returned to her eyes. Then panic.

"Akali," she started, covering herself up, but Akali was already gone. She slammed the car door shut behind her, heart pounding in her head as she stiffly walked back inside her home.

Retreating to her room, she slammed that door too, slumping down to the floor with her head in her hands, all her thoughts replaced with wordless screams.

 

* * *

 

It only took a few days for her to come to a decision. There was no other choice she could make, not with everything she was feeling, with everything she knew was right.

She turned them down, politely, via email. She hit send.

Not even an hour later, Evelynn was blowing up her phone.

_Ahri was too nice to say it but you'll never get an opportunity like this again in your life_

With Evelynn, at least, she didn't feel so bad about her naturally grouchy disposition.

**oh so youre goign to throw a tantrum bc i dont want to deal with you???? thats cute**

She tapped out furiously, hands shaking.

**i bet getting rejected stings a lot to people like you**

**who never have to hear 'no'**

Briefly she thought of what Ahri said, about fucking the producer for the position. She didn't think that was what almost happened, but at the same time they had crossed a line. They had crossed every line. And she was here yelling at her wife.

**well too bad you can just get over it**

**you dont even like me**

_is this because of me? is it something I did?_

_I do like you, Akali. I told you I liked you._

_fuck_

A very long pause. She thought that might be the last she ever heard from KDA, from Evelynn, from Kai'sa, from her idol, Ahri, Foxy, her goddess.

Then an hour later, one mournful text.

_I like you so much_

 

 

She knew, more or less, when Ahri told Evelynn what happened in the car.

Because the next text message was all alone, almost sinister.

_maybe its best you didnt join us_

Definitely bait. Akali had returned to making music, doing good on her promise. Taking heart from what Ahri said, that she didn't need them. Akali felt it must be true. She didn't need anyone. Hadn't life already proved that? After she gave up everything for one person, and that person hadn't ever even properly supported her, had told her she was wasting her life.

She didn't need people like that anymore. She didn't need anyone, she didn't need to share with anyone and she didn't want to share.

**what does that mean**

Akali took the bait anyway. She was bad at ignoring provocation, always ready to fight.

_Ahri doesnt fuck bandmates_

The words were like taking a dip in ice water after a workout. All the burning rage left her body, replaced with shame. Irrationally she wanted to set the phone on the ground and bow to it, like that could somehow get across her embarrassment, her almost-sin.

_but if you're lucky_

Evelynn texted,

_she might just fuck a groupie_

and Akali went red-hot again, out of anger, and lust, and confusion.

 

* * *

 

 

The stars in her room didn't shine any brighter, but she got over that, too.

On one of her rare days off, she locked herself inside with her new computer and a set of noise-cancelling headphones. Swiveling from side to side in her chair, she leaned back and closed her eyes, nodding along to the beat. It wasn't much more than snare drums and a synth but she thought it sounded pretty good.

Akali did not lack in confidence, usually.

Maybe in the aftermath of a wretched breakup she had gotten a little weak. She couldn't blame anybody but herself for that.

Restarting the track, she sat forward and opened up her editing software, wanting to play around with it some more, when she heard a knock.

"I'm busy, Uncle Shen," she called back.

A lengthy pause, and then a softer knock. Rolling her eyes, Akali stalked over and swung open the door, ready to be confrontational.

"Hi," Ahri said, and in a panic Akali almost slammed the door shut in her face.

It was a close thing. She clung to the door handle with both palms, crouching like she was ready to bolt. "Oh, shit!"

Ahri started laughing. "Oh, shit? Is that how you greet me?"

"Yes. I mean no!" She took a few steps back, rubbing her eyes. They burned from staring at the computer screen. "I mean... shit. You're still in town? I thought you'd left by now."

Getting a better look at her, Akali found her body posture oddly cute, hands hidden behind her back like she had a secret. "Mm. Nope. Kai'sa finds the mountains very inspiring, so she wants to stay here a little longer."

The other woman very clearly wanted to be annoyed, but all she could muster was fond amusement. She probably loved it that Kai'sa was being such a little _artiste_. It seemed like she and Evelynn both enjoyed indulging her when they could.

Awkwardness burned between them. So Akali did what she did best and bustled on through it. "So what do you want? I already told you no. And I'm sure Evelynn will be really happy nobody is gunning for her wife anymore, unless you have other girls you've been making out with."

Taken aback, Ahri pressed her lips firmly together. "Evelynn likes your music. She likes you. Kai'sa does too. We..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Now you're gonna tell me you're not predatory like everyone else in the industry and you're cute and nice so that means I should trust you."

"Most idols don't even make any money for their first few years." Ahri's voice took on a harder edge now, annoyed. Akali found it refreshing from that unending sweetness, that carefully controlled politeness, the sugar over the ice. "Eve and I are backing this almost entirely by ourselves. That means no debt for the living arrangements, for feeding you, for filming you, for training you—"

"Ahhh. So now you're saying I _have_ to sign on with you."

"No!" Those soft brown eyes were focused on her, burning with a heat that had nothing to do with the summer sun outside. "I mean I— didn't want to coerce you into this decision, but yes, it's true. I'm giving you something you'd be crazy to throw away!"

Ahri rubbed her forehead, suddenly exhausted.

"...I didn't come here to snipe at you," Ahri said at last. "I'm sorry. I know I muddled things up. You have every right to reject my offer."

"Uh, yeah," Akali said. "I'd say so."

Taking a moment to collect herself, Ahri inhaled deeply and then dropped her head in a deep bow.

"I'm sorry," she said again, eyes hidden by a curtain of blonde hair. "I just wanted to see you again, and apologize properly. That's all."

"Mhm," Akali said, not impressed in the slightest. "I remember what happened the last time you 'just' wanted to spend more time with me."

A wine red blush spread over Ahri's cheeks as she glancing up from her bow to pout at Akali. "Okay, yeah. I know that wasn't right of me. What do you want me to say? I'm sorry. I'm _really_ sorry." Some of her steel started to droop, sadness taking over. "And if that's why you decided not to join..."

Akali couldn't take any more apologies. "Stop."

Waiting patiently for an explanation, Ahri slowly realized none was forthcoming. "Okay."

That should have been the end of it. There wasn't anything left to do except say goodbye. She couldn't be with Ahri, not the way she wanted. Being in the same band as her would only hammer in all the things she could never have, until pining turned into bitterness. Akali didn't want to fight for Ahri's attention. And the cold hard truth was she _had_ to share her. Not just with her wife, but with the whole world.

She needed to come to grips with the fact that she wasn't the only person who loved Ahri...though she probably never really loved her at all. Heck, she didn't even _know_ her. Just like any other fan, she loved a version of Ahri she had built in her head.

"Your wife is the one you should be apologizing to, anyway," she finally said.

Ahri's bark of laughter made her blink. "Don't worry about Eve. She's just jealous I got to you first."

She _what?_

A curious light entered her eyes, voice edging closer to suspicion. "Come on, Akali. It's an open secret that Eve and I aren't monogamous. Is that why you freaked out?"

Akali refused to answer that. "So how much of you asking me to join was just because you two wanted to fuck me?" Akali accused her instead.

But instead Ahri just smiled, shameless for once. "Uh. About twenty percent? I thought I kept a good lid on it until you kissed me."

" _You_ kissed _me._ "

Ahri shrugged. "Either way I was being selfish."

"Because you don't fuck bandmates." She tried for anger again, for something pointed. In truth she said it because she wanted Ahri to hurt. Apologies weren't cutting it, not for all the conflicted feelings Ahri was responsible for.

"...I don't," Ahri said, studying her hard.

Instead, that lingering sexual tension ramped up to an unfathomable degree.

"I never have," she went on, "Unless you count Eve. And Akali, there's only so much my ego can take. So if we're done here please tell me. Otherwise I'm going to need you to lock the door."

[Akali's pulse pounded, like the abandoned beat still bumping from her discarded headphones. ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcdeTC0W16k)

Grabbing Ahri by the forearm, she dragged her further into the room, shutting the door and pinning her against it with a kiss. Ahri wound her arms around Akali's neck, mouth already open, tonguing her roughly like she wanted to hurt her too, but was just as bad at it.

"Is this what you were really after?" she asked, shoving her harder against the door when Ahri started to push back. Ahri let her, submitting, head rolling as Akali kissed down her neck. Both hands cupped her breasts, filled and overflowing as she squeezed and kneaded.

"N-no," she said, offering some token resistance before Akali bit her bare shoulder. She hissed, squirming. " _—yes_ , fuck, fuck, yes."

She stood between Ahri's legs, hiking up her dress and getting just a taste of soft thighs before she stroked right over her underwear, as gently as possible. Ahri pushed her hips forward, seeking friction, and Akali met her pace, working two fingers over damp fabric until Ahri was cursing under her breath.

Then Ahri started shaking with helpless giggles. Pulling back, Akali frowned at her until she remembered what was right behind her, plastered to the wall. Just to confirm, like she didn't already know what she'd see, Akali glanced over her shoulder to glare at a life-sized poster of Ahri on her bedroom wall.

Akali closed her eyes, wanting to sink into the floor. "Pretend you didn't see that."

"That's a _dinosaur_ of a print," Ahri said, trying and failing to muffle her giggles. "I recognize that limited edition sticker! How long have you had it?"

There was no way she was going to answer that. But while she was distracted, Ahri took over. She had a way of manipulating the people around her without effort, in her career and evidently in her love life, too. Their position swapped so fast that Akali didn't know when or how it happened. When she tensed to step away, her back hit the wall, and moving any direction meant some part of her touching Ahri.

"Did you want an autograph?" Ahri whispered, lips brushing over her neck.

 _Yes_. "No."

She got chills, body throbbing as Ahri worked open her belt with both hands, roughly yanking, demanding more. "Do you want _this_?"

 _Definitely yes._ "Only if you aren't too busy, I guess."

Ahri sealed her lips on a patch of Akali's neck, hard enough to leave a mark. Then she changed gears and blew a loud raspberry, shocking a laugh out of Akali. She squirmed, shrieking in laughter and rubbing her neck with one hand.

"Kai'sa was right," she teased her. "You are cocky."

Once she got ahold of herself again, Akali was flush with embarrassment. She hadn't expected Ahri to be so silly; some part of her still wanted a fight.

"Yeah." She grabbed Ahri by the wrists, stopping her when she tried to slip her hands down Akali's pants. Hefting her up over one shoulder, she smiled when Ahri squeaked. It was a short trip to the bed, dropping her hard enough that she bounced. "Well you won't be complaining when I'm knuckle-deep inside you."

A look of genuine distress crossed over Ahri's face then. She sat up, crossing her arms over her chest in an X. "Whoa! Pause! Being totally serious here for a moment: don't do that. I don't like penetration."

Some of the heat of the moment fizzled out, leaving Akali to awkwardly reassure her. "Oh. Um, that's okay. I'm not too crazy about it either, to be honest."

"Neat." Another big grin from Ahri. Then she wiggled out of her dress, tossing it aside and looking up at Akali expectantly. "It's kind of nerve-wracking, isn't it? Learning how to make love to someone new."

Akali agreed, but couldn't say as much. Her eyes were glued to the gold necklace around Ahri's pale neck, the chain draped over the sharp angle of her collarbone. It perfectly matched the one Evelynn was always fiddling with; Ahri just didn't often wear a neckline low enough to display it.

She shrugged out of her shirt but not her pants, carefully taking a seat next to Ahri on the mattress. There was still time for one or both of them to change their mind; this felt more permanent than any contract Ahri might ever throw at her. They couldn't go back, not from this.

But it was hard to be scared of that idea when Ahri had that proud smirk on her face, eyes bright with devilish intent. She leapt onto Akali's lap, wriggling closer as she reached behind herself to unclasp her own bra. "So how thin are these walls?"

Her palms framed Ahri's waist, tracing the way it blossomed out into full hips. Akali reached further down, grabbing Ahri's ass with one hand and kneading it possessively. "Very."

Ahri let the bra drop, grinning even sharper now as she fluffed up her hair with one hand, pushing it back from her face. "Then I guess we'd better keep your mouth occupied."

Two hands coiled into her hair, working her ponytail loose before gently massaging her scalp. Akali closed her eyes, hot and relaxed at the same time. Those hands guided her down, along with a murmured request. "Play with my breasts a little."

"Okay." She took as much of Ahri into her mouth as she could, sucking and licking her nipples until Ahri was grinding on her lap. Ahri didn't keep her hands to herself, stroking down the back of Akali's neck and passing over her shoulders, soft noises of approval humming low in her throat.

Then Akali stopped, sitting back and putting both hands flat on the mattress. "But only a little."

Ahri complained, pushing her back against the mattress, knees straddling her waist. "More than a little!"

"Shh," Akali reminded her, free arm around Ahri's waist and pressing one finger to her mouth for silence.

She ran her thumb over Ahri's lips, pleasantly surprised when Ahri instinctively opened her mouth to let her inside. Breathless with excitement, she watched, fascinated, as Ahri took her thumb up to the knuckle. Her tongue flicked over it once, lips tight as she dragged it free and took Akali's index and middle finger instead, moaning softly around them.

"You can do better than fucking a groupie on a twin-sized mattress," she said, in a whisper.

Her fingers dropped from Ahri's mouth, tracing a wet trail down her chin before dipping below her waistband. She found her, stroking her clit, and was immediately rewarded with another noise of pleasure.

"Oh my god, Akali." Ahri's gasping words barely made it past the sound of Akali's pounding heart. Her clit twitched every time Ahri said her name like that, already soaking wet and she hadn't even been touched yet. "You still don't get it, do you?"

Ahri held her tight, rocking onto her hand, breathing heavily. She was unbelievably soft, skin ghostly pale against Akali's tanned hand. This close to her, Akali couldn't resist leaving bruises wherever her mouth could reach, spilling drops of red and purple paint all over the canvas. With every stuttering twitch of her hips, Ahri came so close to coming that Akali could almost taste it.

But just before she did, Ahri stopped her. A breathless exchange ended with her kneeling over Akali's shoulders, digging into the mattress on either side of her head.

"You're not just a fan to me." She stroked her head, fondness swimming in her eyes. Akali looked up at her, feeling defenseless even though Ahri was the one stripped bare. "You're the _competition_."

She did taste her then, completely overwhelmed by the thighs pillowing her face and Ahri's bare sex rutting against her tongue. Ahri was incredibly gentle, careful where she rested her weight. She took Akali's hands, folding them with hers and pinning them against the mattress. Every inch of her burned, sweat and sex making her thighs sticky when she desperately pressed them together, trying to find relief.

Briefly she entertained the idea of drawing this out, but she didn't get to tease Ahri for long before both hands were on her head again.

"Like this, Akali," she said.

Hearing Ahri tell her exactly how to get her off was enough to have her fumbling open the top button of her pants, hands shaking as she touched her own slit.

"Good girl, Akali." She twisted onto Akali's tongue, gasping. "Oh, _good_ girl."

She'd never been with someone like this before, so in tune with her own desires and so unafraid of asking for more. Locking her lips around Ahri's clit, she narrowed her eyes and remembered to breathe, licking Ahri until her jaw hurt. Her own orgasm was on the precipice, so close but not enough, and she couldn't focus on getting both of them off at the same time.

Ahri came on her face, messily, shaking, quiet. The world shrank away, all her concentration on drawing out what she could until Ahri lowered herself down back to lie alongside Akali. Her intense gaze wavered slightly from exhaustion, like a guttering candle flame.

"Can I touch you?" she asked, and when Akali nodded she traced her sex over her pants. She was wet enough to have soaked through her underwear, a cool, damp spot pressing between her legs as Ahri found her pants ruined too. "God, you're wet."

Ignoring that for the moment, Ahri openly admired Akali's abs. She kissed them, tongue stroking over them and down the sharp furrow of her hips. Impatient, Akali pulled her pants and underwear down past her thighs. Ahri returned to her face, kissing Akali as she stroked over slick, dark curls.

"Please." Her throat was almost too tight to squeeze it out.

Ahri's serene smile returned. She pressed a little harder, framing Akali's stiff clit between her fingers. "Please what?"

" _Please_ ," was all Akali could say.

Ahri kept up indirect contact, petting and stroking just around where Akali wanted until she buckled.

"Please touch me." The words spilled from her lips, not held back by embarrassment or pride any longer. " _Please_ make me come. _Please_ , I'm so close."

"Look at me." It wasn't an order, not exactly, but it was impossible to disobey. Locked together with her arms around Ahri's neck, she struggled to keep quiet, to keep her eyes open.

Ahri watched her fall, anchored her as the world went blank, and when it was over, stroked her hair as she trembled furiously.

Her first instinct was to move away and get some breathing room, but that almost toppled her over the edge of the bed. Instead she wound together even tighter with Ahri, who snuggled up against her, face to Akali's chest.

"That was fun," she said, thumb tracing a slow circle over Akali's hip. "I should have done that the moment I met you."

Akali propped her chin on top of Ahri's head, still reeling a little bit, but also strangely underwhelmed by how normal this part still was, just like with any other girl she'd ever touched. "You would be in jail."

Ahri huffed. "Excuse me?"

Slapping a hand around on her bedside table, Akali found her phone. She held it up, scrolling through albums until she found the picture. Maybe it was embarrassing, but she'd just come in less than a minute from Ahri's delicate fingers stroking her off, there wasn't anything she could do that was more vulnerable than that.

"Here." She showed Ahri the picture they took together when Akali was fourteen. "You probably don't remember, but there was this private event in the next town over. I scaled the wall to get in, cause I didn't have a ticket. When I fell flat on my face in front of you onstage, you—"

"Oh my god!" Ahri bolted upright, gasping in shock. "Nosebleed Girl?! That was _you?_ I tell people that story all the time!"

Akali sat up too, cheeks warming. "...I'm not sure if this is better or worse than you not knowing me at all. Thanks for the photo, by the way."

"Awww, Akali." Ahri reached out, pinching both of her cheeks. "You were a _baby_ , how could I have said no?"

She couldn't help but scowl at the memory. "Yet you still had security escort me out."

"Sweetheart, you broke in. Keeping you wouldn't have been fair to the fans who paid."

 _Keep me,_ a little voice inside her said. _Keep me now. Want me._

She wrestled the urge down, firmly slamming a door shut over it and locking it shut. "Would've been nice to get an autograph, too."

Ahri's smile turned devious. "Thought you didn't want one."

She could have insisted that she didn't. It wasn't too late. But instead her face kept warming up until she knew she must be bright red, and Ahri started laughing. Flopping back against the bed, Akali pulled a pillow over her head. "Shut up."

The mattress shifted as Ahri got up. Akali waited, hearing fabric rustling, and assumed that the other woman must be getting dressed. It was bittersweet. She hadn't expected Ahri to stick around, but she wasn't ready to say goodbye yet, either.

Then a warm weight dipped over her, Ahri's naked body pressed against hers. Akali lifted the pillow to see Ahri straddling her hips again, a black marker in her hands. She uncapped it, the stringent scent of alcohol hitting her as she slowly dragged the tip over Akali's bare chest. By the time Akali caught on to what she was doing, Ahri was already done.

She couldn't read it at this angle, but Ahri had written what looked like an entire screed all over her breasts, long and large enough that it sprawled down Akali's sternum.

It would have made sense to be angry, or amused, at the expression of smug satisfaction on Ahri's face. Like they were playing a game, and Ahri had won, somehow.

Akali's hands curled into fists at her side, arousal pooling up between her legs again. "Are you done, or did you want to add your manifesto, too?"

"Oh. You're right, I _did_ forget to add something."

Ahri shifted lower, and this time Akali could clearly read _property of Foxy_ over her thigh, bordered with hearts and flowers. Ahri capped the marker again. She tossed it aside, kissing just under her handwriting.

A low hiss escaped Akali, fists gripping the sheets now as Ahri kissed her way up between Akali's thighs. "Open your legs for me, Akali."

Akali realized she must be getting off on this. Ahri _had_ to be getting off on this, the knowledge that every time Ahri said her name she clenched with need. The fact that Akali loved her with that unique fannish desperation people give to idols. It could have made her angry if it were anyone else. It _should_ have made her angry.

Instead she sank into the sensation of Ahri's mouth cleaning the sticky come on her thighs, her hands spreading her lips open to gently kiss her entrance, thumb rubbing eager circles over her clit. She used her fingers and her mouth, more communicative than any other partner she'd had before.

_Is this okay? Is this too deep? Is this how you like it?_

"That's it, Akali," she said as Akali started to fall apart underneath her again. An appreciative hand stroked over her stomach, coveting the divots of her abdomen, tracing every hard-earned muscle. "One more time, just for me."

Tears pricked at her eyes from the struggle to keep from shouting. She saw stars even when she closed her eyes, bright lights spinning in her head until she came down with a whimper. Ahri's tongue was a firm presence against her clit, pressed hard to her but not moving, not until she stopped twitching. Only once Akali had calmed down did she start again, a slow, torturous drag.

This time Akali thrashed, fists tangled in Ahri's hair, thinking, _I can't, I can't, I can't, I couldn't, I shouldn't_ , except she could and she did, coming like a frazzled broken wire, sparks shooting off erratically, just on the edge of pain.

Taking Akali's hand, Ahri and guided it between her own legs. Eager to take back some measure of control, Akali explored with her hand what her tongue had already known. Akali thought she couldn't come, not again, not until she felt Ahri twist on her palm and cry out loud.

_She came so fast._

The sound of her, of wet flesh and sharp breathing, and the smell of her, overwhelming.

"One more, Akali, one more for me," Ahri encouraged her, the force of her own climax leaving her sounding tormented.

And she couldn't tell Ahri no.

Ahri worked her slowly, as if she knew this one needed to be savored. Or maybe she was being merciful, knowing at this point Akali was sensitive to the point of pain. Her last orgasm shocked her, seized her up, and she forgot herself entirely as her back arched up off the bed, and she shouted _yes_!, or maybe she just thought it so loud she imagined Ahri could hear it. Surely it was etched out over every inch of her body, like the ink running down her wet skin.

"Stop!" she finally gasped when Ahri's breath huffed against her overheated flesh, since Ahri was evidently going to keep at it until she begged her not to. "Stop, stop."

She drifted in and out for a solid minute, chest heaving. Akali was vaguely aware she was drenched in sweat, the writing on her body probably smudged to the point of being illegible.

Ahri's cool hand touched her cheek, face fading into her vision. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, too winded to speak. This time when Ahri slipped from the bed, she really did get dressed. The dress straps slipped back over her shoulders, brazenly marked with Akali's own signature. The bite marks had blossomed out nicely, every inch of her exposed neck and chest clearly bruised, unmistakable for anything except what it was.

Ahri noticed too, a wry smile on her face. "Can I borrow a scarf?"

She gave Ahri one of her jackets, pulling the hood up over her head and tugging the strings. "What are you going to tell Evelynn?"

"I'll tell her we had sex. And it was very good."

That firm hand gripped her chin, guiding her in close for another lingering kiss.

"She won't be mad?" Akali couldn't help but whisper, feeling ashamed again and wishing she didn't.

Thankfully, Ahri was fine reassuring her some more. "With how much she flirts with Kai'sa, I have a feeling we'll need to re-establish some boundaries soon. But no, she won't be mad."

She frowned deeply. "Is this band just a front for you two to pick up chicks?"

"It's _not_." Ahri blushed a little. "I really wanted you to join KDA."

Akali eyed her, still wary. "If you say so."

A soft sigh. Ahri zipped up her jacket, adjusting her purse on her shoulder. "The contract is still valid for a good long while," she told her. "If you ever change your mind, Akali, you know how to reach us."

One last shiver as she said her name, but less intense than before. The fever had passed, and neither of them said goodbye as Ahri walked out of her room, and shut the door behind her.

 

* * *

 

The next few days passed like a dream. She spaced out mid-conversation, staring out the windows or brooding on the roof where Shen couldn't find her. Her music still waited, everything she wanted to share with the world still in-progress.

When she had washed off Ahri's words from her body, she could just faintly make out a word or two. _All my love_ , and _to my biggest fan_ , and _hugs and kisses_. She'd really gone all out with it.

A week later, a thin cardboard tube arrived with her name on it. Even without a name attached, even before opening it she had a feeling she knew what was inside.

Cautious, Akali unrolled the poster. It wasn't from any photoshoot she recognized, and as a Foxy superfan, she knew about most every single one. Despite herself, she was impressed. Foxy had been working on rebranding her image for years, and here was a final proof of concept. Ahri was posed on a plush chair, wearing form-fitting black and white with a long blonde fox tail draped over her lap. It was elegant. It was sexy. No more bubblegum pop. Three business cards and a letter also fell from the poster, and Akali bent to pick them up.

 _This is from a top secret project,_ Ahri's handwriting said, more flowers and hearts and smiley faces scribbled on all the margins. _The pre-orders go live tomorrow, no one else has them yet. So if you leak it sooner, remember, I know where you live._

Akali's voice was dry as she spoke to the air. "I'd like to see you try to take me on."

Examining the business cards now, Akali couldn't fight a smile. They were KDA's professional contact information, and the name of their agent. A note from Ahri explained further.

_Even if you're striking out on your own, you'll still need friends. KDA will always be here to support you and share the stage._

Damn it.

Akali wanted to be mad still, but it was hard when Ahri was being so damn cute. Rolling up the poster, she set it down beside her chair.

"I don't want to share," she said, to no one.

_The last person I shared with hurt me, so, so bad._

Sitting back in her chair, Akali stared up at the glow-in-the-dark stars on her ceiling.

Then she scrambled out of her bedroom, pulling a hat on and hopping into her shoes at the doorway.

She ran nearly every single day. She ran to build stamina and to keep her physique and to get away from the house and a million other reasons.

So she was only mildly out of breath when she reached the house Ahri and the others were renting. Spotting Evelynn's car outside, she nodded to herself and quickly scaled the fence. It was easy; she dropped down on their lawn and jogged right up to the front door and banged on it with a balled-up fist.

"Hey! Open up!" she said. "Is anyone home?"

She heard faint movement inside, then the door lock clicking. When it swung open, Evelynn stood there, an absolutely poisonous glare on her face.

"Miss Akali," Evelynn said, "Do you know what time it is?"

Oh. Akali glanced at her phone, grimacing at the early hour. "Uh. Sorry. It couldn't wait. I mean I have your number but I didn't want to call. I mean this is important! I need to do this in person!"

As she babbled, some of the ice melted from Evelynn, replaced with concern. "Slow down. Is everything okay? Are you in trouble or something?"

"No!" Akali took a deep breath. "No."

Then she yanked the contract from her backpack, freshly printed with her name signed at the bottom. Holding it in both hands, she extended it to Evelynn, bowing politely.

"I want to join KDA."

The resulting silence burned, weighing her down until she finally dared to look up at Evelynn.

The other woman had a hand tight over her mouth, eyes shining with barely constrained laughter.

"Oh my god," Evelynn said in between careful, deep breaths. "Ohhh, this is gonna be good."

"Evelynn?"

She stepped forward, closing the door shut behind her as she forced Akali back a few steps.

"Tell me honestly," Evelynn said, and after a moment Akali realized she needed to stand her ground eventually or Evelynn would chase her right to the front gate. So she stood still, forcing herself to not back off when Evelynn was right there, close enough to touch, chest to chest. "Did you change your mind just because Ahri fucked you?"

 _She knows._ Of course she knew, Ahri said she'd tell her. Ahri probably told Evelynn she'd try to make a move before it even happened.

"And you'd better tell me the truth," Evelynn added, "Or I won't let you inside."

 _Because I want to share._ Akali stood firm, even if she couldn't help but crane back a bit, leaning away from Evelynn. Some small part of her wanted to run away even now, wanted to hide somewhere she didn't have to take any risks, or let anyone near her, or let anyone close enough to hurt her ever again. _Admit it. Say it. Even_ _if I make it big somehow it'd all be meaningless if I didn't have someone to share it with._

Then she hung her head, knowing she wore her heart on the sleeve and knowing Evelynn was probably shrewd enough to see she wasn't telling the whole truth.

"Because I'd— I'd—I'm—" Akali stammered.

_Spit it out, stop being a coward, be the firespitter, spit it out, **admit it**! _

"I'm—" she took a deep breath. "—Lonely. I'm so lonely. And I c-can't take it anymore."

_I'd rather die than spend one more day as lonely as I feel right now._

Evelynn stroked her necklace thoughtfully, eyeing her over.

"I see."

That was all she said. At first.

Until she reached out, gently pulling the contract from Akali's hands.

"Let's take a look at this over breakfast," she suggested, moving so that she had one arm over Akali's shoulders. Akali was swept up in that familiar scent again, sweet leather and chocolate and bitter pine. Belatedly, she realized that jacket, the one Ahri let her keep. It must have been Evelynn's. The other woman guided Akali back to the house, opening the front door for Akali. "Kai'sa can make enough for four."

Too thrilled to be stunned, Akali let a huge grin take over her face. "Yeah?"

"Yes." Evelynn casually pinched her cheek. "And then you and I are going to talk about exactly what you expect from my wife."

Her stomach plummeted, nerves making her want to backflip right over the fence she'd just scaled. But before she could lose her nerve and dig her heels in, they were inside the house and she'd slipped her shoes off.

"Honey," Evelynn called out, an amused smirk on her face. "Are you up? You're going to want to see this."

She gave Akali a sidelong glance.

"[I brought a surprise.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txMlen8oED8)"

 

 

* * *

 

 

_bittersweet, undefeated creature –  
against you there is no defence _

  
— from Anne Carson’s translation of Sappho’s fragments, entitled  _If Not, Winter_


End file.
